THE HORNETS COULD HAVE USED PAUL ON WEDNESDAY CUZ HE'S A PLAYER

My plan for Wednesday night was to watch the Hornets game. Then, I decided Tuesday: Heck, I'll just go to the game. They can call it a sellout all they want. But bullshit! The lower bowl was full. The upper bowl, where I always sit, not so much. Many empty seats.

I didn't know this but found out Wednesday afternoon when I ordered the tickets. Because I bought a 1o-game package, I can now call the Hornets ticket office and order tickets through them for any game without any extra charges. So suck on that, Ticketmaster. You're not getting those ridiculous fees from me this season. 

Turns out, the castle and such were just for the home opener. At the pregame party Wednesday, there was plenty of room to move around. That's much more better. No musical group, though.

Boo! Scott Fujita (top right corner) has now gotten into my photos from both pregame parties. Who does he think he is?

 
At the home opener, I got nachos. In my quest to eat something different at every game I go to this season, I got a chicken strip and fries order from Scooter's. I don't think that place was at The Nest last season. I could be wrong. Chicken strips and fries went up from $7 to $9. The foot wasn't bad. We'll have to see at a later date if the same order from WOW is better.

I had only taken a few sips from my drink when I decided to get up and do my traditional walk around the building before the game. That goes back to the Baron-Mashburn days. I'm about to tell Paul (who came with me) that I'll be right back. He cuts me off: "You spilled your drink." 

The guy in front of me turns around and says: "There goes five bucks." It also sucked because I was really thirsty from eating the chicken strip basket. As you can see, there was a sip left. And yeah. I drank it. 

I'd like to direct your attention to the young lady on the left in the pink Chris Paul jersey. Her name is Cara. This is her story. 

Her and her friend Rita Fajita (I assume that's a nickname) sit to the left of Paul at the start of the second quarter. Paul says: "Ya'll missed the whole first quarter." And he was off and flirting. Cara was hot and talked in a Southern accent.

I thought Paul had no shot. I'm sure he thought the same thing. After a few minutes, I figured she just liked to run her mouth. She also kept pointing at someone in the lower bowl and waving. 

Cara and Rita Fajita left at halftime. Paul thought they wouldn't return. But by this point, I was thinking that they were coming back because there were a lot of empty seats in the section. Yet they sat next to Paul. They returned for the start of the third quarter.

I don't know what Paul and Cara were talking about because I decided to stay out of it, save whispering advice into Paul's ear every now and again. I was too focused on the game (which by the way pissed me off - the Wasps didn't show up) to be worried about seriously helping Paul's game. He didn't need much anyway. He's taking her to the Lakers game next Wednesday. 

Did I mention that Cara got a Masters from LSU two years ago? How old does that make her? 27? 28? I asked Paul later what her Masters is in. "I didn't ask." Good job, buddy. Paul also has a date with Michelle on Friday. Player alert. 

The following conversation turned me off to Cara. Not like my advice matters to Paul. A hot girl accepted a date with him. She could have offered him drugs, and he still would have asked for the date. Anyway, here's the convo:

The Honeybees are introduced to the crowd as the No. 1 dance team in New Orleans.

Me: No. 1 dance team? Who decided that? Was there a vote?

Paul: I don't know.

Me (sarcastically): I think the VooDoo dolls are the No. 1 team.

Cara: They are. 

Me: Oh really?

Cara: Yeah. They're the best. 

Me: Who decided this?

Cara: Me. They're hotter. They have better moves and better routines than the Honeybees and Saintsations. They're my favorite. 

Me: It's too bad then that they no longer exist.

Cara: What?

Me: You know. Since they cancelled the team.

Cara: What are you talking about?

Paul: You don't know that they cancelled the VooDoo?

Cara: Oh my god. When?

Paul: A couple of weeks ago.

Cara: Oh, I don't have a TV.

And with that, she was dead to me. No TV? How does she fall asleep? How does she eat? Fuck, how does she breathe? Not to mention, she's a big New Orleans sports fan. She's a big fan of the VooDoo dolls. Yet she doesn't know they were disbanded. 

Paul, of course, didn't think this was a big deal because the VooDoo isn't major or anything. I agreed except that she's a BIG FAN of the dance team. She should know they no longer exist. Paul proceeded to ask everyone we came into contact with for the rest of the night if they knew the VooDoo disbanded. They all knew. I guess they all have TVs. 

Perhaps I'm being too harsh on Cara. It's not like the VooDoo is a much talked about topic. (Though shouldn't one of her friends have told her that her favorite dance team vanished?) I'm sure her co-workers weren't abuzz about it the next day. She probably doesn't read the paper or visit nola.com. She probably could care less about that football team. Eh. I just get the feeling if we talk to her more, this cluelessness would present itself more.

On the way home, I decided to take Paul for a victory drink. The Wasps didn't win. But he sure did. Cara does have a Master's. She's attractive. Maybe she's brilliant and wonderful, and they'll fall in love. I felt like a daiquiri, but all those places around my house were closed. So we went to Fox&Hound. I decided to go for a jack and coke. 

We take two steps in the joint, and I grab Paul and turn him around. We walk outside. He's confused. I explain to him that I saw two girls sitting at the bar and was heading to the open seats next to them when I noticed something. IT WAS CARA AND RITA FAJITA! 

Paul was stoked about getting the date. But he wanted to quit while he was ahead on the Cara front and see what happens next week. The last thing he wanted was to run into them at the bar. I still wanted to get the drink, so he could get to know Cara better now (and maybe I get more acquainted with Rita Fajita), but I knew I had to give him the choice. If I don't grab him and escort him out, he would have walked up, grabbed a seat and not realized it was them until it was too late. He was also afraid of looking like a stalker. 

I still think we should have gone in, though. Don't you think it was fate that we all ended up at the same bar without discussing it? (Note: I told Paul to call Cara on Saturday afternoon and invite them to join us for football at Fox&Hound on Sunday. He said he will. Stay tuned.)

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is happy about the 44th president of these United States. "It's time for a fucking change. We've had an idiot in the fucking White House for eight years."

Mom is up when I get home Tuesday night just past midnight. "They didn't have black people rioting in the fucking streets, did they?"

Mom has a look of pain on her face. "My fucking bra dug a fucking hole in me."

Mom likes Daughtry's beard. "He's on fucking Oprah."

Mom is watching election coverage on CBS. She talks to Couric. "You're making your fucking money tonight."

Mom is trying to show me a computer ad in the Best Buy pamphlet. "Where the fuck is it?"

On Wednesday afternoon, I ask mom for the time as she gives herself a pedicure. "Late. I'm tired of doing my fucking toes."

Mom wants to use my phone to call her because her phone isn't ringing when she's called. I tell her it's somewhere in my room. "Well, I'm not going to fucking search for it."

My phone rings for the umpteenth time Wednesday afternoon. "Jesus. You're fucking popular today."

I'm watching the tape of the Rockets-Celtics game. It's at halftime. Mom sees Gary Payton giving analysis of the first-half action. "Fuck, man. He's talking on the TV now?"

FOUR CORNERS

A deeper look into The Gene Pool world. 

- Jelly called me Monday to tell me about something she heard on ESPN radio. A listener called in to say that Texas Tech was stupid for not going for a two-point conversion Saturday night. This guy came back from the Hornets game (like me) and yelled at his TV (like me). He was wondering if he was the only one yelling at the time (like me) and couldn't believe the announcers and other analysts didn't mention it (like me). 

The host of the show hadn't thought about it either. Jelly said: "Somewhere out there in this city, you have a mind twin." A mind twin, eh? I must find him. Either that, or somebody read my blog and took credit for it. Can I sue for that?

- Paul called me Saturday night to tell me that he just saw Wendy at Lager's. Wendy would be what you would call my first girlfriend. She was a little crazy. (Theme developing?) She was at my senior prom with someone else and went around biting people. Our friend Rick still had teeth marks on his arm two weeks later. Paul did not talk to her. Good move.

I tell you this because of what happened when I was driving to work Sunday. I pull up at a red light on Airline. I look over, and Wendy is in the next lane. I kid you not. I then looked the other way to avoid eye contact. 

- I went to put my sunglasses on Sunday afternoon. I take them out the case, and the part that goes over the right ear (what do you call that?) had snapped off. Don't tell, Tina. She gave them to me for my birthday last year. I'm currently driving around with just the left side. As you know, I'm a trend-setter. 

- I'm having a birthday dinner Monday night. I'm trying to keep the group to a minimum. I tell Danny we're meeting at Mandina's on Monday at seven. He responds: "You should say 'at meven' to keep the 'm' alliteration going. Also, I'm going to call you 'Mene.' " I said: "That's mean, Manny." Chuck has suggested having the dinner at 7:30 so that it can be: Meet at Mandina's on Monday at mid-past seven. And so it shall be. 

PARTING SHOTS 

"I will get kicked out of this bar if that's what it takes. This is the most important speech of our lives, and you people are fucking playing music. What is wrong with you?"

-- A Six Beers at Bruno's who was pissed that they wouldn't turn up the volume for Obama's speech last night. He finally got fed up and triumphantly led a group of 15 out of the bar. Not thirty seconds after they left, Bruno's turned off the music and put on the speech. We missed three minutes.

Retro quotes: November 5, 2004.

1) Dr. Alexander discusses her relationship with a politician in Communications Law class.

Dr. Alexander: "And Edwin Edwards told me: 'I'm a better wizard under the sheets than David Duke.' "

2) At work, D is singing a popular rap song of the time.

D: To the window! To the wall!

Christian: Please don't repeat the next lines.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top five albums I had high hopes for but came away disappointed.

5) Minutes to Midnight. Linkin Park.

I really like several songs on this album. But after waiting three and a half years for it to come out, it fell short of expectations. There's a stretch of about four songs that don't quite do it for me. Unlike the rest of the bands on the list, I will buy their next album.

4) Trust Company/Trapt. 

I treat these two bands as one in the same. I don't know the names of the albums, and I don't care to know. I liked both of their first albums and was excited to listen to their follow-ups. I threw them both in the trash. 

3) The Reason. Hoobastank. 

I liked every song on their first album. I liked one song on The Reason, which was the follow-up. One song. It wasn't the worst record in the world, but it was a total letdown. 

2) Smash Mouth. Smash Mouth. 

The follow-up to Astro Lounge was a smashing disappointment. I kept four songs from it on my Ipod. The rest of the album was garbage. And this after I went to a Smash Mouth concert on the Astro Lounge tour. 

1) Pretty. Odd. Panic! At the Disco.

The first album blew me away. This album just blew. I was so disgusted because I was positive they wouldn't have a sophomore slump. I was wrong.

YOUR NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

Look, it's the first video ever posted on The Gene Pool. It's the return of the Jump Bump. You see, at the home opener, poor Chris Paul didn't Jump Bump before the game. (Pargo is in Russia, and Tyson was hurt.) That made me sad. 

But Tyson returned to the lineup Wednesday, and the Jump Bump was on. You can tell how excited I am by the scream I let out as CP3 and Tyson do the deed. (Note: The Hawks did 15 Jump Bumps during the introduction of their starters. Fifteen.)

Next time, I'm taking a video of James Posey giving man hugs to all the starters before they step on the court for tipoff. That shit is borderline creepy.