HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

The Gene Pool birthday celebration is so big I'm breaking it up into two days. It doesn't get more exciting than that. Today's first part goes through the first half of the day. I know many of you were worried about the streak because it is my birthday (and wouldn't let me get away with it, especially the Blog Hating Five). Never fear. The Gene Pool is here. 

First in person Happy Birthday: Mom at 4:15 a.m.

First in text Happy Birthday: Kelly at 10:50 a.m.

First on facebook Happy Birthday: Alex right after midnight.

My dad took me to Copeland's for lunch. That's one my favorite places. The waitress comes over to introduce herself.

Waitress: Hi. My name is Amber. And I'll be taking care of you today.

Dad (pointing at me): It's his birthday. Are you really going to take care of him?

I ordered one of my favorite dishes in the world. Eggplant Pirogue. Don't tell me you're not salivating right now. It was delicious, and I have a little bit left for a midnight snack. Or in my case, a 4 a.m. snack. 

On the menu, it says that the Eggplant Pirogue has been a Copeland's speciality since 1983. Holy crap! That's my birth year. I guess it was meant to be. I quickly noticed, though, that many items on the menu say that. So Copeland's took off in 1983? Hmm. Coincidence? I think not. I made my dad order something with the "since 1983" label. He went with the filet. 

After lunch, I went to Hollywood Video, where as a member, mom and I are able to rent a movie for free on our birthdays. I went for Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins. Marcus told me I would love it, and I've been meaning to see it because I really like Martin Lawrence. I had a problem with the rental process. Observe.

Me (to the lady cashier, who was none to happy to be working): It's my birthday.

Cashier: So.

Me: Don't I get a free rental?

Cashier: The person on the account does.

Me: I'm on the account. Two of us are.

Cashier: But you are not the primary person. If you were, you'd get a free rental.

Me: So, I should get my own account?

Cashier: Tina is the main person on here.

Me: I know. That's my mom.

Cashier: Well, you're not in the computer.

Me: So, I should get my own account?

Cashier: Then you could have a free rental.

Me: So, I should get one?

Cashier: Yeah.

Me: But last year I got a free rental.

Cashier (scanning movie): They probably just gave it to you. Like I'm about to do.

Me: Thank you.

Cashier (as I'm leaving, slightly sarcastically): Happy Birthday.

Me: Thank you. (Oh yeah. I have a way with the ladies. Told you, Jelly.)

I tell my mom about the incident. "That's bullshit. If there's eight people in the household, they're supposed to get eight accounts?"

This was waiting for me when I got to my room after work Sunday night. The card had some spending money and a Best Buy gift card. I didn't say anything but thank you to mom, but I felt kind of silly taking this from her. I just gave her a $300 check to help with the bills. 

That balloon is really cool. You can punch it a lot of times really quickly using the string. Mom actually bought it in a pack of eight. But the other seven were duds. Not that this one was perfect. You can't tell in this pic, but that thing is crooked. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom starts my birthday. "Every day something breaks. Not once a week. Every fucking day. (The light bulb went out. She looks at the directions for the new bulb.) "Residential. What the fuck? ... Every day something fucking breaks."

Mom is watching the SNL Election Bash from last Monday. She likes Amy Poehler's impression of Katie Couric. "She's got that fucking blinking down."

Mom doesn't like my choice of a shirt for my birthday. "You better throw that shirt in the fucking trash." 

I tell mom that Poehler isn't coming back to SNL. "Oh that fucking thing is going down."

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that today is my birthday? Yeah, it comes around every November 10th. This is the 25th time. What I bet you didn't know is that I was born at 4:40 p.m. via an emergency C-section. Mom said it was super scary.

So, whenever you are mad at me. Just think. What would your life be like without me?  

PARTING SHOTS

I received many happy birthdays on facebook (more on that tomorrow). Here's the best.

Chuck: Happy birthday, Gene. May you end your night wearing a giant novelty hat of some sort (preferably a sombrero) and being serenaded with some variation of "Happy Birthday to You" half-heartedly by a waitstaff that just wants to hurry up and finish so that they can go get high in the walk-in freezer (these are the same people who will recommend the veal, trust me, you do not want the veal.) May you have an awesome, yet embarrassing, yet ultimately fulfilling celebration of your day of birth yet again. And may you give cause to many to celebrate your quarter century of dominance.

(Now, that was from the heart. But be honest, Chuck. You tell that to everyone, don't you?)

Retro quotes: November 10, 2004

These are on a page with balloons drawn by Amanda.

1) A guy at the poker table encourages me. He had already given me a nickname.

"Bet it, Birthday."

2) Christina is telling us one of her friends is not a prude.

Christina: She's always talking about the cock with me.

3) Ann does not like my attitude.

Me: I'm going to the vending machine. You want anything?

Ann: Can you get me some smack?

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five birthday songs.

5) Travis. Juan.

My friend Juan in high school wrote a birthday song for his best friend Travis. Travis was our student body president. Juan put it on a CD, which I still have.

Sample lyric: According to SAT, you're a genius, but that doesn't compensate for your small penis. ... Travis is an intellectual, not to mention a homosexual.

4) Happy Birthday. Weird Al.

Funny stuff. Funny stuff. 

3) In Da Club. 50 Cent.

I don't give a fuck cuz it's my birthday. You can find me at Mandina's. 

2) Happy Birthday to You. Traditional.

All together now. Happy Birthday ...

1) Birthday. Beatles.

Yes, guys. I am going to have a good time.