I'M STILL NOT PULLING YOUR FINGER

Since the first installment of making my co-workers' names into verbs (which was really fun), I've noticed them several times this week living up to the definition. It's funny stuff. We don't want anyone to feel left out, now do we? So, here are some more entries.

T-P dictionary

pulling a Sandy, v.
1) to put somebody in their place with a quick retort
2) to insert your 22 cents into a conversation
3) to whisper a secret, even if others aren't around

pulling a Brick, v.
1) to instigate a squabble
2) to laugh in the face of a work disaster and just do your thing
3) to boggle some one's mind with math

pulling a Lopes, v.
1) to eat chips and a Pepsi for dinner
2) to trip and fall on your own while running with a football
3) to have something bad happen to a friend

pulling a Liam, v.
1) to need a ride to or from work
2) to prepare for next year's draft (fantasy or real) during the current season
3) to inject a comment (funny or serious) of sexual content into a conversation

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I'm in the kitchen and hear my mom yell from the hallway. "I'm tired of dealing with this fucking mess. Sick of it."

I ask mom what she thinks of the name Bronx Wentz.

Mom: Huh?
Me: Bronx Mowgli Wentz. What you think of that name?
Mom: I don't understand a fucking word you just said.

TV WEEK IN REVIEW

Best cameo. Heroes. Seth Green and Breckin Meyer as comic book shop employees. They didn't really do anything, but it was nice to see their faces on the show.

Best romantic moment. Worst Week. Sure, there was no band and the groom didn't have any shoes on, but it turned into a beautfiul scene, the first one of the show where nothing went wrong. Warmed my heart.

Best concept. How I Met Your Mother. The naked man. Here's how it works. If you're on a date and you realize there's no chance of a second date anyway, you invite yourself up to her place saying you need to use the bathroom. When she leaves the room, you take off all your clothes and see what happens. The show says it works two out of three times. I suggested Paul do this with Michelle on their 11th date. I told him it's time to end it or do it.

Best line. Psych. So many to choose from with the holiday special. Here's one.
Gus: Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us.
Shawn: Fool us thrice, and you make an ass out of "u" and "me."
Gus: Nope.

PARTING SHOTS
We all agree that the BCS is bullshit. We then agree that more money could be made with a playoff system.

Brick: If you're going to do a money grab, then do it right.

We're trying to decide whether or not I should date a whore.

Derry: Usually it takes three or four good whores to find the right one.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
The top five things that went wrong with LSU's football team this season.

5) Poor starts.
Much of LSU's problems stem from falling behind early. In every competitive game except for Alabama (the Tigers best game of the year), the Tigers started in a hole. Observe these trailing scores from the first half.

Auburn: 14-3.
Florida: 20-0.
S.Carolina: 17-10.
Georgia: 21-7.
Troy: 24-3.
Ole Miss: 21-3.
Arkansas: 14-3.

4) Cheerleaders.
For some reason, the cheerleaders weren't as attractive this year as they normally are. This creates two problems. 1) Less distraction for the other team. 2) Less motivation for LSU players to play well.
Maybe they should get Miles to help with recruiting.

3) Having co-defensive coordinators.
Clearly, this system doesn't work. The defense was sliced and diced by just about everyone, including Auburn, which couldn't move the ball for the rest of the season. Assignments were constantly blown. People were out of position on big plays.

2) The quarterback situation.
If Ryan Perrilloux was at quarterback, the whole season wouldn't have been completely different because the defense was so bad. But the offense would have been much more efficient and possible won some of those games where the defense couldn't stop anybody.

Then, Hatch got hurt, and Lee was put in as the only quarterback. That didn't work out too well. At leat we got the term "Jarrett Lee" out of the whole thing.

1) The players didn't play well.
You name it, they struggled. The entire secondary was awful. The coaches might have been bad, but coaches don't miss tackle after tackle. Coaches don't not put pressure on the quarterback. Receivers struggled to get open, running backs struggled for yardage, players didn't keep their cool. And the list goes on and on and on.