RING THE BELL. I'M DONE. 

After work Saturday night and a Rockets blowout victory, I headed over to Lager's to meet David, his girlfriend and friends. If they came in town every week, I think I might collapse. Two nights of drinking in a row, and I feel like I need a few days off. I must be getting old. 

Coincidentally, Paul and his cohorts from the Palace showed up at Lager's. He came over to say hello and left his crown and coke at our table. While he was away, I poured a few drops of my Woodchuck into his glass. You know, for shits and giggles. 

When he came back, he didn't pick up his glass for a few minutes. 

Me: Aren't you going to finish your drink?

Paul: No. It's mostly water now. 

Me: But it's halfway full. 

Paul: I'm done with it. You can have the rest if you want it. 

Eh, every prank can't work. Don't worry, though. I'll get him my pretty and his little dog, too. 

Eventually, it got to that point in the night. Yup, I'm talking about the moment when girls decide that it's picture-taking time. The rules are simple. Smile, lean-in to the picture and take as many as humanly possible. 

Here's a shot of David taking his 10th photo of the girls. I think he believes that it's enough already. Either that or some of them started making out, and I missed it. 

The reason for so many photos is that there were four girls. So, you have to take a picture with all four, every combination of three and every combination of two. Have mercy. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I'm in the living room while my mom is in the kitchen working on lunch. "Aw, shit. ... Fucking lazy, man. Just plain lazy." I assume she meant me, but I'm not sure why. I didn't ask. 

Mom is talking on the phone. I'm not sure who she was talking to. "They live in a fucking double!" 

We're talking about someone's finances. "She has CDs all over the fucking place." 

We're watching the second episode of Harper's Island. One of the chicks has a little dog. "That's an ugly fucking dog, huh?" Agreed. 

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that Monday was 4:20 and the record was probably set for the most people being stoned at the same time? Did you know that Monday marked 10 years since the Columbine High School massacre? Did you know that Hitler was born on this day in 1889? Did you know that everything's better with a bag of weed? ... Did you know that Kevin Garnett isn't playing in the playoffs? Did you know you can post your life updates on Twitter? 

PARTING SHOT

Danny went to the T-P Pulitzer party and naturally, took a piece of cake. 

Someone: Danny, that's not for us. It's for someone's birthday. 

Danny: Oh. I thought it said, 'Happy Pulitzer.' 

(He ate it anyway. What a rebel.) 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

I've never been out the country. The top five cities I would want to visit. 

5) Calgary. Canada. 

Have to try and visit the Dungeon. 

4) Paris. France.

Oui. Oui. 

3) London. England.

To see if I can make those guards move. My plan is to steal the weapon. 

2) Venice. Italy.

Indiana Jones found the tomb of Sir Richard under a church there. Plus, I want to go on a gondola. 

1) Vatican City. 

They gotta the freaking pope.