HONESTLY. WHO THROWS A SHOE?

Tina has been complaining about me getting new shoes since December. And by December, I mean December of 2007. So, I've been ignoring her for about 16 months. On Wednesday, I figured that was about enough. Besides, I needed to give Tina something else to bitch about. 

When I got to Sports Authority, I decided to go with a NIKE shoe. I hadn't wore a NIKE shoe in years as I've been rocking New Balance for most of the decade. It's always good to mix it up. Also, I wanted to get some color in the new pair because I can't remember not wearing white. 

Now all that's left is to find out what Tina will start barking at me to do next. Can't wait. 

The NIKE Dart VI. Whatever the heck that means. I really like the blue. The only thing I don't like about the shoe is that little swoosh in gray on each instep. That shouldn't be gray. Doesn't go with the rest of the shoe. Anyone know how I can color that red or blue? 

While I was at Sports Authority, I browsed the rest of the sports equipment. It was only five bucks, so I threw this into my shopping cart. I think it's going to revolutionize the way I use my time for dinner break. Who wants to play in the yard and have some fun at 6:30? 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom and I had lunch today at Ground Pati on David Drive. We used to have lunch a lot more often, but her diet has really limited our options. Our adventures produce good corners. 

While driving on David, mom has to hit the breaks because a car is holding up traffic trying to turn. "That's how people get killed on this street. Dead fucking stop." 

Mom has a moment of reflection right before we get to the restaurant. "Remember when we pinned that sign on your dad's back when he was 50? (It said: "Hi. My name's Dave. I'm 50. Tell me Happy Birthday.") "He walked around all fucking day. Didn't know shit." (It's true. It was funny. Dad turns 60 on Saturday.) 

Mom is complaining about the dude on American Idol who is 23 and married. "David Cook did it right. He doesn't have time for a girlfriend. Spend all day in the fucking studio." 

Mom's pain from yesterday returns while we're eating. "What the fuck?" 

We stop at Best Buy on the way home. Mom misses the turn into the parking lot. "Aw, shit. I should have turned there." Then, she doesn't like the structure of the parking lot. "Jesus. Fucking tight around here." 

On the way home, we're talking about my Hornets' 10-game ticket package. "You need someone to go in with you for the whole fucking thing." 

Mom thinks it will be difficult for me to find a roommate. "You on a different schedule. Sleep all day. Work all night. And when you're not, you fiddling around on that fucking computer." 

FOUR CORNERS

A closer look at The Gene Pool World. 

-- As you may know, I have a collection of tickets for events I've attended throughout my life. Even though I have a lockbox for these, I noticed several piles all over the house (one on my stereo, one on a cabinet and one on my dresser) starting to get out of hand. So, I sat down for an hour and organized them all. It felt good. 

I have paper clips around the tickets with the following themes: concerts, wrestling, Saints, LSU football, Zephyrs, Hornets (two paper clips needed), movies by year from 1998 to 2008, other sporting events, miscellaneous and multiples. 

-- The pile on my dresser was in a little cup. It was full of movie tickets from the past four years. I haven't cleaned it out in that long. Which is why I didn't know there was a bunch of change at the bottom of the cup underneath all the ticket stubs. 

It was like finding money between the cushions of a couch. Though usually that's 40 cents or something. In the cup, I found $8.60 in change. 

You know what that means? That means I have just enough to buy a granola bar from the vending machine at work. Yahoo! 

-- On Tuesday night, I watched the first half of the UNC title game again. It was every bit as awesome as the first time. I think I'll do this every week for a while. While we're on the topic of that game, I got to say I was impressed with Jim Nantz. He had a solid game of commentary. 

-- A few weeks ago, I tried to buy a Celtics 2008 championship T-shirt off the NBA store Web site for my dad's birthday. (Don't ask why I'm doing this almost a year later.) I was happy to see that the official locker room shirt was on clearance sale. I was unhappy to see that you could only buy it in medium. 

On Wednesday, I called the NBA store number to speak to a human about this. I might have been better off talking to a monkey. I tell the woman what happened and ask if I can get that shirt in a XL, even if only the medium is on sale. 

It took her 15 minutes to find the shirt in her system that it took me 15 seconds to find on the Web site. For the first six minutes, you know what she came up with? Yeah, the 2008 March Madness bracket T-shirt. She even asked if I wanted to buy that. Uh, no. 

Then, she found the 2009 Celtics division title T-shirt. Then, the 2008 Eastern Conference title T-shirt. She tried to get me to buy both of these. "It says Celtics and championship, sir." Fifteen minutes later, she found the right shirt and informed me that it was unavailable in XL. Figures. 

PARTING SHOT

I call Little Joe to discuss the 24 shocker. He hadn't seen it yet, so I discussed it with Jenna. Then, we made a decision, and I told it to Joe. 

Me: Joe, we're going to have a 24 finale party. 

Joe: Yes. This is a good idea. ... I'll grill. 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five TV hangouts. 

5) The Regal Beagle. Three's Company. 

It's where the misunderstanding happened. 

4) MacLaren's. How I Met Your Mother. 

Those people sure eat a lot of meals there. 

3) Central Perk. Friends.   

Did they have that couch reserved?

2) The Max. Saved by the Bell. 

Except when Kelly worked there and started dating Jeff. Yuck. 

1) Cheers. Cheers. 

Where everybody knows your name.