PLAYOFFS? DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT PLAYOFFS.

Before we get postseason thoughts and predictions, let's see how we did with our preseason prognostication.

On the negative note:
-- I said the Blazers wouldn't make the playoffs. Oops. Now, they look like they'll whoop the Rockets in the first round. Hey, I thought there were nine good teams in the West. I had to pick one of them not to make it.
-- I picked the Hornets to win the West.

On the positive note:
-- I said the Mavs would win 50 games. How you like me now?
-- I predicted that one of the Big 3 of the Celtics would break down, eliminating their chance to repeat as champions. Thank you, Kevin Garnett. You've given me so much. So so much.
-- I have the Cavs winning the East.

I was going to do three keys to the Hornets beating the Nuggets, something I think they will do. But Marcus wrote three keys for the paper, and two of them were the same. I don't want him to think I'm stepping on his toes. Besides stopping J.R. Smith and rebounding, I'll add not letting Chauncey take 3-pointers in the fourth quarter.

When the Hornets fell to the Spurs on Wednesday night, I was upset, but then I realized something. The Wasps had backed in to the best situation possible for them. It's like they lost in overtime on purpose.

If the Hornets had beat the Spurs, they'd be playing the Blazers in the 3-6 matchup. They'd be out if five games. Now, the Blazers are stuck playing the Lakers in the second round. Ha. Check out the four-team bracket the Hornets are in to come in second place in the West.

The Nuggets: Not more talented than the Hornets. Couple of headcases. Outside of Billups, no experience of winning.
The Spurs: No Manu. Beat-up. Too old.
Mavs: We own them.

If you're keeping track at home, a healthy, clicking Hornets team is the favorite to make it to the Western Conference finals. I spent the last 24 hours talking myself into this. I hope I helped you, too.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom calls me into the living room Thursday afternoon.

Mom: What you think of the pirates?
Me: I don't think they'll make the playoffs.
Mom: What? Do you know what I'm talking about.
Me: Yes.
Mom: I didn't know they still had fucking pirates.
Me: They ain't looking for treasure.
Mom: I know. But I didn't know they still had fucking pirates.

I watched a show called "I Get that a Lot" that aired earlier in the month where they put celebrities in regular jobs and have fun with it. Mom and I discuss the segment where Jessica Simpson pretended to work at a computer store. "You see the job they put her in? Fucking fixing computers. That's funny."

Mom gives her take on the show as a whole. "I couldn't have been on that show. They would have had to bleep me. I would have been like, 'What the fuck?'

I ask mom a question. She's pissed. "I'm not a fucking robot."

Mom isn't happy with the American Idol judges. "They used the fucking save last night. Stupid. That guy can't win the competition. They didn't listen to Simon. They gonna need the save next week. It's fucking disco night, and two people get cut. What do you think is gonna happen to my two favorites (Adam and some chick)?"

PARTING SHOT
Marcus and D are discussing Chris Paul.

Marcus: They better not name a street after him in the French Quarter. It'll be Rue Paul.

I'm about to post this entry when Lopes asks a question.

Lopes: So, when you playing wiffle ball?
Me: I don't know. I guess when there's a light night, I'll just go out there and whack it.
Lopes: That's fucking disgusting.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
Keeping with the hangout theme, my top five places I used to hang out at.

5) Cafe Intellegencia. 2002.
In my senior year of high school, the school paper did an article on the valedictorian and the two salutatorians. Well, we all ate lunch in the same spot, and the person writing the story referred to our little area as Cafe Intellegencia.

For the rest of the year (about four weeks) when people passed us (we had a group of 15 eating there), they called us Cafe Intellegenica. I've always thought that a cool name.

Now, that became the official name at the end, but we had been eating lunch there since the ninth grade. Right outside the cafeteria in the little walkway to the main building, we ate lunch on the steps for four years. Good times, I tell ya. Good times.

4) Mellow Mushroom. 2005.
While I was in Baton Rouge post-Katrina, we went to the Mellow Mushroom once a week. The food wasn't too good, but they had hot waitresses and trivia every Wednesday. We even won twice. Sometimes, it was general trivia, and sometimes, it was specific.

I remember the hardest I worked in my semester at LSU was preparing for Zoolander trivia night. I watched it Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. We lost by one question, some trivial bullshit question that had nothing to do with the movie. Whatevs.

3) Damon's. 1999-2002.
Three big-screen TVs next to each other. Boy, I miss that place on NFL Sundays. Plus, we were there so much, the servers started giving us free desserts.

2) Madigan's. College.
A place so special it had its own top list September 24.

1) Caffe Fresca. 2004-storm.
It was 24 hours. Now, it closes at like 9 p.m. I spent a lot of time in there from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. They had a pretty good burger. My main order, though, was a coke and fries.

Leave five bucks and hang out all night in there chilling and talking to Karen the waitress. Nice older lady. I wonder what happened to her.