'MELO. THAT BOY GOOD.

I went to the historic loss Monday night against the Chicken Nuggets at the New Orleans Arena. And yes, I stayed until the end. I don't leave until the end of games. At some point, the blowout to me changed from embarrassing to funny. I laughed it off.

The reason why I'm not going to sit here and bitch about this and that and go on a rant about how much they suck like so many others is that it wasn't surprising. When the Dolphins lost to the Jaguars 62-7 in 2000, that shit was embarrassing. The difference: I thought the Dolphins had a chance.

Now, I thought the Hornets might win Game 4, but I didn't think they had a chance to win the series after the first two games in Denver. So, a blowout didn't shock me. Oh well. We move on.

The Hornets brought out the big guns for BuzzFest for the second home game. The Chee Weez performed such classics as Life is a Highway and Summer of 69.

Why do people continue to wear this fucking jersey to Hornets games? Do they not understand that the dude quit on the city, that he's a wussy and a prick? Yet, I see one of these disgusting things at every game I attend. They should all be burned. In an official ceremony. 

And many of those wearing Baron Davis jerseys are kids. Where, I ask, are the parents? Where? Same thing goes for Mashburn jerseys.

Bob was on the schedule to come with me to Game 6 on Friday. I was excited to show him this new sign they hung up in the corridor at the Arena. Now, I can only show him here.

The New Orleans Arena with about five minutes remaining Monday. I didn't understand why so many people left early. For crying out loud, they cut it to 54 at one point in the fourth quarter. Other insane things that happened late in the fourth included George Karl calling timeout with 4:40 left and the defense chant coming over the loudspeaker with 3:50 left in a 56-point game.

Notes and observations from Game 4

1) I was about to forget the tickets again. As I was walking out the door, Tina said: "Do you have the tickets?" I did not.

2) There have been 15 home playoff games in New Orleans since the Hornets moved here. I have been to 11. Plus, I went to a road playoff game in Dallas.

3) The woman behind me (the same one who told me to sit down Saturday during the introduction of the starting lineups) turned to her husband at the start of Monday's action: "Is this a playoff game?"

4) A couple of drunks two rows behind me kept calling Denver the Chicken Nuggets. They must be reading my stuff. Drunken shouts from them included: "Fry up those Nuggets," and "Start up the grease, it's time to cook up the Nuggets." The latter came when Denver led by 40.

5) One word to describe Monday's performance: STINKBOMB.

6) I spent $733 on the Hornets this season. That includes tickets, parking and food such as the nachos I had Monday. And that doesn't count the $100 credit in my account because I had to buy four playoff tickets, even though they only played two games at home.

7) At halftime, I saw a guy outside section 305 with a BOSTON THREE PARTY T-shirt. Awesome.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

Two weeks ago, my mom made red beans and rice. When she went to put the leftovers in the freezer for me to eat at a later date, she discovered a similar bowl in there. Crap, she thought. There was already red beans and rice in the freezer. Now, we had two leftover bowls in there. 

Fast forward to Tuesday. Mom went to take out the older bowl of red beans and rice to make today. She opens the bowl. "Oh, no! Motherfuck me! Oh, no. Shit. ... It's fucking spaghetti." (No big deal for me. I love spaghetti!) 

Mom is about to watch Monday's episode of 24. She says that the paper gave away a plot twist. I tell her someone gave away that same plot twist to me because he watched the previews. "We were just all kinds of fucked on that one." 

PARTING SHOT
We're discussing the possibility of the Saints signing Edgerrin James.

Brick (to Jelly): You like the idea of Edgerrin James here?
Jelly: I like big, old dudes.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
Since most of these lists are top five, here are my favorite five phrases with the word five.

5) Five finger discount.
I got a five finger discount on that Pancho's cup.

4) Take five.
Something Christian Bale refused to do.

3) Gimme five / High five.
The later was famously used by the T-P for LSU's fifth baseball championship.

2) Five and dime.
I hear they sell six-strings.

1) Five knuckle shuffle.
When I made this No. 1, I thought it had something to do with punching. And that's it. I swear. The Internets, however, tell me it has two meanings.