WHAT'S GREEN, BLUE, ORANGE, RED, YELLOW AND WHITE ALL OVER?

Answer: Chuck's house on Saturday night for the Rubik's Cube party, a multi-level celebration of Bob's birthday, Mardi Gras, Gillie and Brian departing and our group fascination with colors. 

Traditionally, I don't get much into these themed parties. My excuse usually being that I show up three hours into the festivities having just come from work. But Saturday I played along for the most part. All my colors stemmed from sports teams: D-West shirt for yellow; Rockets headband for red; UNC sweatshirt for blue; Dolphins hat for green and orange. 

To add a little something extra, I took green, blue, red and yellow electrical tape and wrapped a piece of each around my fingers on my left hand (no thumb). I think a basketball player can hit it big with this idea. Wear tape of all six Rubik's Cube colors on his fingers. 

People will take notice and start to ask questions. That's when the player (preferably young and stylish) tells the reporter that his nickname is The Cube and he reps all the colors. Boom. He's got the hottest nickname this side of The Black Mamba. He makes commercials. Etc. 

Bob's not much for celebrating his birthday, which is Feb. 22. I wasn't even sure at first if his birthday was Saturday or Sunday. He wouldn't give me a straight answer whenever I axed him. In fact, he told me earlier in the week that he wasn't going to the party because he doesn't celebrate his birthday. 

Me (at the party): I thought you weren't coming. 

Bob: Yeah. I'm going to leave before midnight. 

This shot was taken at midnight, with Bob still at the party. And if I'm not mistaken, he's smiling. Everybody had just finished singing Happy Birthday. I think he enjoyed it. 

Brian and Gillie may be leaving soon, but they had one more awesome party left in them. I was telling Gillie that it was another successful themed party when I came up with a name for them. Usually, these things are hosted and/or concocted by Brian, Chuck and/or Gillie. Using their last names in that order, these parties are BAD. As in BADASS. 

You happy, Alexis? You made it. This is your one shining moment (but not necessarily your last). Soak it in. Thank the Academy. Thank all the wonderful people that made it happen. But most of all thank yourself for performing this incredible dance move on Chuck's kitchen floor. It's called The Backstroke. Do it at your next party. Go ahead. Do it. 

Nobody, and The Gene Pool means nobody, celebrates Mardi Gras like Jenna and Katie. Well, maybe the people in the krewes and such. 

The idea of the Rubik's Cube party is to end up wearing only one color. I didn't play that game, but Katie did. Three times. At this point, she's all in green, capped off by my Dolphins hat. 

The mug that Jenna is holding lights up. And it holds a lot of take-to-the-parade liquor. 

Also, I've noticed recently that people love to take pictures of me taking blog pictures. Makes sense. They are recording history. 

Eventually, the party broke down into a wild mess of crazy dancing in the kitchen. To get it started, the lights were turned out. Chuck, right, yelled "Anarchy" and then got down to business.   

Please see today's top list for the most talked about issue at the Rubik's Cube party. Strangely enough, it wasn't the constant exchanging of clothing going on all night. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom still is upset about the bad disc from Netflix. "It's a fucked disc. It gets to a certain point, and you can't do anything. Can't fast forward. Can't eject. Can't stop. It just keeps making this noise." 

I flip through the TV guide for the week to discover that many of my shows are re-runs. I groan. "Make up your fucking mind. You complain when everything comes on, and you complain when everything's a re-run." (This is true. When everything comes on, I complain because I have to find the time to watch it all. When everything's a re-run, I complain because I want to see more episodes of shows I like. It's a vicious cycle.) 

Mom is anticipating the Oscars. "Poor Benjamin Button. Came out in the wrong year. Ain't gonna win shit."

I say something to mom about Mardi Gras. "No shit." 

I tell mom that Jenna and Little Joe are moving Uptown next week. "They love that fucking Uptown." 

TV WEEK IN REVIEW

24. (Spoiler alert). The FBI leak was revealed to be the dude analyst. I thought he was too obvious to even consider as the mysterious leak. I had guessed the chick he was nailing on the side. That would have been a better twist. 

My Name is Earl. Danny Glover was the guest star. I spent most of the episode wondering if he would say, "I'm getting too old for this shit." Unfortunately, when he did say it, they didn't put a bleep in there. Instead, he said, "I'm getting too old for this crap." Letdown. 

The Office and House. I've been aggravated with these two concerning their intros for some time. House still lists the old staff as the main characters instead of the new staff. The old staff is hardly in the show. Why do they still get billing in the theme song? And The Office still shows scenes from the first season in their theme. How about a little update.

Psych. OK. This section isn't all negative. I loved, absolutely loved, the finale of Psych on Friday. It was so good. The riddle aspect kicked ass. Gus' antics were hilarious. "You're on fire. You're using props." And the drama and sexual tension of the last scene was off the charts. Tears were involved. 

PARTING SHOT

Phil says something negative about A-Rod. 

Me: You don't like A-Rod?

Phil: He's dirty. He's soiled.

Me: No. That's just from Madonna. 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

Many times when you have parties, you end up with friends of friends coming over. Usually, it's all good. But not this weekend at Chuck's house. Nope. We were all introduced to Dave the Douche Bag (as I call him). These are the top 7 douche bag things he did from Friday night's party to Saturday afternoon. 

Darren, who is staying over at the BADASS house this weekend, had this to say to summarize how we all feel about Dave: "He personally offended everybody he came across. I hate him. I mean I really hate him." 

7) The Limes. 

He left limes all over the carpet in the living room at the party Friday (more on that one tomorrow). Didn't bother to pick them up. Nah. Just left them there for Brian, Chuck and Gillie to pick up. Why? Because he's a douche bag. 

6) The Wandering. 

Dave ventured into Chuck's room without Chuck's permission at the party Friday night. What was he doing? Just looking around and observing. Keep in mind he doesn't know Chuck. Why did he go into a stranger's room without asking? Because he's a douche bag. 

5) The Cigarette. 

Bob (paraphrasing): "Let's just say you smoked cigarettes. And let's say you were in someone else's car that wasn't moving. Now let's say you wanted to smoke one of these cigarettes. What would you do?" 

Several people: Get out the car and smoke. / Roll the window down and blow out. 

Bob: "But see. Dave doesn't think like you and me. No. He sat there and smoked it in my car. He cracked the window just a little bit. My grandmother owned that car before me, and she smoked. I just got the cigarette smell out of my car like last week." 

Why did Dave smoke in Bob's car instead of getting out of it first? Because he's a douche bag.

4) The Apology. 

Dave was sitting outside on the porch Saturday afternoon after doing No. 3. Darren was leaving and saw him there. He told Dave to apologize to Brian and Gillie about the lime incident. He expressed sorrow to Darren and said that he would apologize. But did he when he saw the couple? No. And why? Because he's a douche bag. 

3) The Bathroom. 

There was a knock on the door early Saturday afternoon. Gillie answered it. It was Dave. 

Dave: "Hey, I'm Dave. Bob's friend. Can I use your bathroom? Thanks." 

First of all, he's not Bob's friend. He's a friend of Bob's friend. I'm not sure the reason Dave was in the neighborhood in the first place, but he doesn't know anybody that lives there. Why did he needle his way into their bathroom? Because he's a douche bag. 

2) The Recycling. 

Toward the end of Friday's extravaganza, most of us were in the kitchen. Dave enters from the hallway with an empty 2-liter. Dave: "Do you guys recycle?" Brian points across the room to where the recycling is kept.

Does Dave go over and put the empty bottle in the bag? Nope. Dave lofts the bottle across the room, and the bottle lands on the floor near the corner of the room, several feet from the recycling. 

Does Dave walk over there and pick it up? Nope. He says something about keeping the party going, something about Tulane and leaves the room. Why? Say it with me. Because he's a douche bag. 

1) The Entrance. 

The top spot is reserved for when Dave first met the group Friday night, long before I arrived from work. 

He entered the kitchen and yelled: "Who lives here? I need shot glasses. We got the party going in there. Where are the shot glasses? Who lives here?" Nice way to introduce yourself, asshole. This, I assume, led to the lime incident. 

At least we got a new catchphrase out of it. All party Saturday, we kept shouting, "Who lives here? I need shot glasses." Tons of fun. Next time you go to a party and you don't know the host, try Dave's little number out. Head to the kitchen and yell, "Who lives here?" 

Oh, I almost forgot. Why did Dave make such an entrance? Because he's a douche bag.