TINA: IT'S JUST A FUCKING DOUGHNUT. 

For the time in several years, the T-P sports department has a king cake chain going. (King cake chain: One person brings in a king cake, and whoever gets the baby brings in the next one. Rinse and repeat.) This makes me happy because I love king cake season, and it always seemed sad that our section couldn't use this simple tradition to develop camaraderie. 

Brick brought in the first one a couple Saturdays ago. I guess he deserves most of the credit then for this king cake chain thing. Thanks, guy. Marcus got the baby. He gave me the money, and I picked up a king cake from the Harahan Randazzo's on Tuesday afternoon. 

After waiting for the day workers to leave, I brought up the four de lis. That's Randazzo's name for it. It has four fillings: apple, strawberry, pecan praline and cream cheese. It was a pretty big hit and went fast. On a personal note, I tried strawberry filling for the first time. Loved it. It's now my favorite filling. Tastes just like a jelly doughnut. 

Marcus was super stoked about the king cake and cut the first piece. 

That's the sliver the Big Guy took of cream cheese. And as luck would have it, the poor bastard got the baby. I thought this was just hysterical and nearly fell over laughing. That's got to be the tiniest first piece ever cut that had the baby in it. 

The knife actually hit the baby when Marcus was slicing it. Marcus was disappointed to learn from D that hitting the baby with the knife gave him ownership of it. Two king cakes. Two babies for Marcus. You got to feel bad for him. Well, sort of. Karma is a bitch. 

I can't wait to see him go for the trifecta. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom went to Circuit City to check out their going-out-of-business deals. "Fucking joke. I told the manager his sale prices were more expensive than Best Buy's regular prices." 

Mom wakes up Wednesday morning to see me watching Scrubs and laying on the sofa. I'm using my jacket as a pillow. 

Mom: That zipper can rip the sofa.

(I just smile up at her.)

Mom: You don't give a shit, do you? 

Mom is halfway through the first season of Lost. I tell her I've read some spoilers. 

Me: The island is magical. 

Mom: It's also harsh. It fucking kills people.

Me: There's time traveling. 

Mom: You just couldn't wait to get that off your fucking chest, huh? Stop reading that shit and relaying it to me. 

It was pretty darn cold Wednesday. Mom shivers even with a blanket on her. "Fuck!" 

FOUR CORNERS

-- WrestleMania XXV is 60 days away. Time to start an official countdown. I couldn't be more excited about this. But I was ashamed of myself after a conversation with Gamby on Tuesday. Somehow I didn't know this before Gamby told me: The Cubs are playing a series against the Astros while I'm in Houston for the big show.

How did I not look this up? I feel like I should write an apology and send it to Chicago. Here's the drawback: Opening night is Monday, April 6, but that's also the night of the NCAA national championship. You know, where UNC will cut down the nets. 

Now I have to convince Paul to stay an extra night in Clutch City so I can go to Tuesday night's baseball game. This may be the greatest trip ever. 

-- Last night I was watching the last episode of Disc 1 of Season 3 of How I Met Your Mother on my portable DVD player on my way home from work. As soon as the credits started rolling at the end, the battery died. And that's when I knew this was going to be a good week for me. 

 

-- Two more Super Bowl notes.

1) I'm suing ESPN.com's Sports Guy. Or I should anyway. He obviously reads The Gene Pool and thinks he can just blatantly steal my ideas. In Sunday's entry, I referred to the penultimate play as Warner's "fumble." Sure enough, in Monday's half Super Bowl diary, Bill Simmons calls it Warner's "fumble." Uh. How about a little credit, you thief? 

(It still amazes me how little attention that play is receiving. It's like the media all agreed not to mention it. I think the merchandise makers told the NFL they needed the Steelers to win in order for them to make any money. So blame the economy for Warner's "fumble.")

2) Holmes' catch is all the rage. And it should be. Helluva catch. Now comes the question of what to name it. There was much debate on last year's Great Helmet Escape Catch (there are more than 20 names for it - including mine - listed on its Wikipedia page).

I've got a name for Holmes' winning catch. THE TRIPLE TIPPY-TOE CATCH. Triple because the pass was thrown over three Arizona defenders. Tippy-toe because that's what he got in bounds when he made the reception before falling out of bounds. Plus, it's alliteration.  

-- In the past two days, I've had lunch with each of my parents. On Tuesday, Tina and I went to Ground Pati. I had a hamburger. We talked mostly about pop culture. On Wednesday, my dad and I went to Copeland's. I had the eggplant pirogue. We talked mostly about sports. 

The reason dad and I went to Copeland's was I had a coupon for a free appetizer. Of course, I forgot it on the table in my back room. Good move, ace. 

PARTING SHOT

D reads that Sheryl Swoopes was just waived Tuesday afternoon. He gets nostalgic. 

D: Swoopes, Thompson and Cooper. Can you name a better threesome? 

Me: (tilting my head sideways at an angle to look at my thought box.)

D (figuring out what I'm doing): In basketball. 

Me: Oh. 

D: Man, you people some sick. 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top five TV threesomes. (Like the theme I developed here?)

5) Foreman. Cameron. Chase. House. 

It was a bold move when the show broke up this group. Is bold the right word? 

4) Richie. Potsie, Ralph. Happy Days. 

Sit on it, Max. 

3) Ted. Marshall. Barney. How I Met Your Mother.

How Ted met Barney. Barney approaches Ted in the bar. 

Barney: Ted, I'm going to teach you how to live.  

Ted (confused by the stranger): OK. 

Barney: Lesson 1: Lose the goatee. It doesn't go well with your suit. 

Ted: I'm not wearing a suit.

Barney: Lesson 2: Get a suit. 

2) Jerry. George. Kramer. Seinfeld. 

So, it's mainly a foursome with Elaine. Whatever. Don't make me call the jerk store back. 

1) Ross. Chandler. Joey. Friends. 

I ask Tina for how thoughts on this trio. "They're not the best threesome of all-time. It's the stooges. I've never had a threesome. I haven't done a lot of shit."