WELL, THEY EVEN INQUIRED ABOUT YOU

For the second consecutive year, the only parade I went to was Mardi Gras. And for the second consecutive year, the only person I went with was Paul. This year, however, we hit up New Orleans. I love Mardi Gras. Why do you think Tuesday's color is purple? 

We parked at Chuck's house and arrived at Napolean and St. Charles just in time for the passing of King Rex, that fraud. I yelled to him that JRap was the true king, but I don't think he heard me over the noise and such. He just kept smiling. 

I'm kidding about the fraud, of course. We then proceeded to walk several blocks down St. Charles until we found a cozy spot. I think we actually saw the King pass four times. 

You never know what you'll see at the Mardi Gras. I mean come on, man. Completely blue shoes? Are you kidding me? You might as well have gone barefooted. 

JRap was at the back end of No. 18 in Rex. I was afraid I wouldn't recognize him to yell his name because of the mask. No need to worry, though. I think he sensed I was near because he found me. As I was searching for him, I saw a pack of beads come flying directly at me. 

Me: Hey!

JRap (to the masses): Read The Gene Pool! Read The Gene Pool! 

Me: Do you have any Rex cows? 

JRap: Oh yeah. (He gets two.)

When JRap noticed me about to take his picture for the blog, he threw down that pose. Well played, sir. Well played. 

On the non-parade side of St. Charles, the party was in full force outside one of the big houses. Most of these people were part of the party. They were getting down to some hip-hop, yo. 

Paul and I had just come from McDonald's, where they had the bathroom out of service and were letting people use a port-o-let with a receipt. We were sitting at the table that leads to the bathroom and had fun watching people's reactions to the out-of-service bathroom sign. 

My favorite was a group of five kids, ages about 5 to 8, who ducked under the chain that blocked the entrance to the short hallway leading to the bathroom. They soon realized the door was locked, and a worker mumbled to them that the bathroom was closed. Obviously, they didn't read any of the signs posted. 

The oldest one (as he ducks back under the chain): "That's gay, dawg."

We then went about a half block down Napolean and watched the trucks. About five minutes after sitting down on the sidewalk, Mrs. Lambrano, left, comes over and sits down with us. Her family just happened to have a big setup at that spot. 

Mrs. Lambrano was one of my favorite Rummel faculty members. She was the librarian, and she loved me. You know from all the time I spent in there studying and doing homework. On Tuesday, Mrs. Lambrano sat with us for 30 solid minutes to catch up with our lives and talk about Rummel. And she gave us cokes. 

On the current state of my alma mater: "It's different. It's a new regime. It's not necessarily bad. It's just (pause) different." 

On a complaint I had with their way of doing things: "You need to call and complain to them. I agree with you. But we're not allowed to give any constructive criticism. They take it all the wrong way. Any comment is seen as negative." 

On me visiting her soon: "No. You don't need a pass to come see me. They started that after some other school shooting. You can only visit teachers with a pass and when they know the teacher is on break. But I'm always on break. They don't know when I'm with a class." 

Here's everything I caught at the Mardi Gras. I tried to shape those top Rex beads into an "M" for Mardi Gras. Tried being the key word. 

On top of the Rex cow is a superball. I always make sure to get one at Mardi Gras because they're fun to bounce on the parade route. Especially when it goes really high. Usually, I end up losing it before the day is over. Not in 2009, however. 

There's also the chili pepper with New Orleans written on it. OK. Paul caught that, but he gave it to me. Plus, the traditional green, purple and gold beads and my 37th small football. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom sees me put a pen and pad in my pocket early Fat Tuesday. "You gonna be carrying that around writing shit all day?" 

Mom is making biscuits. The jelly won't come out the bottle. "Fuuuckkk!" 

On 24 (spoiler alert)

-- I'm figuring out when the finale will be by counting on my figures and mumbling dates and numbers. "What the fuck are you doing?" 

-- On the female FBI agent: "She's in the wrong fucking business." 

-- On the female leak in the FBI: "She's only (with the bad guys) because she was fucking him, and she wants to keep fucking him." 

Mom is pissed because I have a sweater in the living room and one in my room. "Learn to put things away! There's a fucking coat closet right when you walk in." 

The rest of today's entry took place when I returned from the Mardi Gras.

Mom tells me that the father of the octuplets (sp.) was on Oprah to explain some things. (I told you she wouldn't care until Oprah did an episode about it.) "Can you believe that? Fourteen fucking kids." 

We're watching Talk Soup. 

-- Joel shows several hilarious clips from the Hills. "What the fuck kind of show is that?" 

-- Joel shows a clip of a chick from the Rock of Love bus. "Look at those fucking tits. So fucking fake. They just fucking sitting there." 

We're watching House. (no spoiler alert)

-- The opening scene shows a kid hesitating to shoot the basketball. "Shoot the fucking ball." 

-- House is nice to someone. "What the fuck?"

-- A commercial is shown for Hell's Kitchen. Mom extends her middle finger at the TV. "Fuck you." 

-- A girl leaves House's apartment. "Who the fuck is that?" 

Mom can't find her remote for the TV in the dining room. "What the fuck I did with it?" (I found it on the ground next to the chair.)

HORNETS THOUGHTS IV: A NEW HOPE

1) On Tuesday night, I quit the team. I was done with them after the Tyson trade. If they want to worry more about saving some rich old dude's money than winning, then I don't need to invest my emotions in them. On Wednesday, I was back on board and ready for the stretch. 

2) He wasn't great in his first game back, but did you see the four alley-oops Tyson threw down against the Kings? Especially that one late in the fourth quarter when he reached all the way back in mid-air and threw it down one-handed. 

3) I'm perfectly fine with the Wasps finishing sixth in the West. They would get the Nuggets, who will probably lose to whoever they play, even though they'll be the home team. Then, the Hornets get the Spurs in the second round, and we're right back where we were last season. Except for that whole home-court advantage thing. 

4) Posey and West seem to be rid of their long slumps. I was starting to wonder before the All-Star break if they'd ever make another jump shot again. I think maybe West's back was still bothering him his first few games back. This team needs Posey to hit many big 3s in the playoffs. 

5) The Hornets ad people are quick and slow to react. The Tyson trade was last Tuesday, and the organization began spewing all this bullshit about the move helping the team. Some people believed 'em, so I guess it worked. The ad people by Wednesday had taken Tyson out of the CST commercials for games and replaced him with Posey. Like Tyson never played here. 

The trade was rescinded (love that word) last Wednesday, yet the CST commercial Tuesday for Wednesday's Detroit game (that's six days later) still had Posey instead of Tyson. Can't we change this back really quickly and easily? Or do we still want to keep saying that Tyson doesn't help the team? 

PARTING SHOTS

We're briefly discussing The Gene Pool on Monday night. 

Gillie: "Being on The Gene Pool is an honor, not a privilege." (Amen.)

A bunch of us are eating Chinese and watching Obama's address on Tuesday. 

Kaila: "I swear Nancy has a spring in her butt." (Probably.) 

On the way back from the Mardi Gras, I tell Paul that a previous comment was a very Yat thing to say. 

Paul: "What's a Yat?" (Whistle.) 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top five parade memories. 

5) The Gene Pool's first Mardi Gras. 

Remember when I wrote about the 2009 Mardi Gras? 

4) The rain parade. 

In 2004, we went to a parade in the rain. When we were walking from campus, it began drizzling. We went anyway. We came back in pouring rain. That was a long walk back. 

3) Being a kid. 

My parents, cousin and grandmother would go to the Mardi Gras on Vets every year. We had a big setup. My cousin and I would see who could drink the most cokes through the course of the day (he usually won). David's family was in the vicinity, and we threw the football around. Plus, back then I could get stuffed animals. Now I feel like a dick knocking over little kids for them. 

2) The birthday sign. 

At last year's Mardi Gras, there was a sign taped against one of the truck floats: Happy Birthday, Danielle. Well, Paul and I had the natural reaction. We found a piece of paper, wrote the same message and ran down the float, waving the sign like a couple of maniacs. Lots of beads came our way. Victory!

1) The boobies. 

At Endymion senior year of high school, Paul, Minkus and I were at Lee's Circle. All of a sudden, Paul gets really excited: "Did you guys see that?" 

Minkus and I: "No. What?" 

Paul (pointing): "That older woman across the street there just flashed the float for like 20 seconds, pulled down her shirt and then flashed again. How could ya'll not see that?" 

Minkus and I: "Sorry. Didn't see it." 

Paul made several more references to the woman and how he couldn't believe we didn't see it, adding: "Really? There's little kids all around, and then boom the old lady shows her boobs." 

On the way to a parade the next year, I broke the news to Paul: "Paul, I have a confession to make."

Paul: "What?"

Me: "I saw the boobies last year at Endymion."

Paul: "Are you serious?" 

Me: "Yup. Been waiting a whole year to tell you. Thought it'd be funny."

Paul: "You son of a ... I almost thought I imagined them." 

Me: "Oh, no. And it was awesome because that old hag even shook them back and forth."