THE DAILY TOP LIST

In the past eight months, I've posted many top lists about movies. A few weeks ago it occurred to me that I had not done a definitive top movies list. I decided to do one, but I knew it wouldn't be easy and put it off until the past few days. 

One of the biggest questions I had was: How deep should the list go? 50? 75? 100? 200? I also held off because I figured it would be too easy to leave something out. Now, that I've done it, I know I left at least one movie out. Oh well. 

Let's take you through my process. 

1) I decided to do a Top 100. 

2) I wrote down all the movies that had a shot to make the prestigious rankings. I did this from memory, my collection of DVDs, Tina's collection of DVDs, my old VHS tapes and looking at old top lists. After all that, I had a list of 171 movies. That's a lot of cuts. 

When I was looking at Tina's DVDs, she asked what I was doing. I tell her and add that she has a lot of good movies. "I know. You have all those comedies back there. All that bullshit." 

As I was narrowing down the list, I tell Tina that it was becoming a difficult process. "That's because you got all that bullshit in your Top 10." 

3) I took the 171 candidates and divided them into categories on a new sheet of paper. Categories included Horror, Sports, Frat Pack, Harrison Ford, Will Smith, Drama, Action, Comedy, The Kid in Me and Chick Flicks. 

4) I tried to rank within the categories as best as possible. 

5) Using a third sheet of paper, I went to work. I used my gut. I flipped coins. For the real tough decisions, I just wrote the first movie that came to mind. As the list progressed, I took groups of movies, said these will be the next 10 for sure and weighed them against each other. 

It was a grueling process. Some movies got pissed at their placement. I told them tough cookies. I had fun making it, but 100 was not enough. So, it's my top 140 movies. 

From left: the final list, a portion of the rough draft and the categories page. 

Gee whiz, get on to the list already. OK. OK. Here's 140-101. 

140) Top Gun. 1986.

Sorry, Bob. 

139) The Princess Bride. 1987.

Probably inconceivably low for some readers.

138) Animal House. 1978.

Double secret probation. Ha. 

137) Starsky & Hutch. 2004.

Do it! Keep reading the list. Do it! Do it!

136) Beetlejuice. 1988.

Don't read it three times, please. 

135) Waterboy. 1998.

I want to play some foosball. 

134) Spaceballs. 1987.

Comb the desert. 

133) With Honors. 1994.

Never let a bum get a hold of your thesis. Got it. 

132) The Mask. 1994.

Smokin!

131) Howard the Duck. 1986. 

Bert's brother does a helluva Dark Overlord impression. 

130) Cruel Intentions. 1999.

Thinking of the same scene as me? 

129) As Good As It Gets. 1997.

You make me want to be a better man. 

128) Ali. 2002.

The first of three boxing movies on the list. There are only two basketball movies. 

127) Identity. 2003.

I didn't guess the killer. 

126) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 1990.

Thirty minutes or it's free indeed. 

125) Just Like Heaven. 2006.

Reese is just like heaven. 

124) Major League. 1989.

How many is it before it's called a winning streak? 

123) Bruce Almighty. 2003.

Back to you, fuckers. 

122) Horse Feathers. 1932.

The password is an actual swordfish. 

121) Skeleton Key. 2005.

Love the ending when the bad guys win. 

120) Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 1986. 

The difference is clear. Clear Eyes. 

119) Ghostbusters. 1984. 

Yes it's true. This man has no dick. 

118) Ghost. 1990.

Ah, the magic of a penny.

117) Number 23. 2007.

I'm obsessed with numbers too, man.

116) Rookie of the Year. 1993.

C'mon. The Cubs win the World Series. 

115) City Slickers. 1991.

I love treasure hunts.

114) A Night at the Opera. 1935. 

There is no such thing as a sanity clause. 

113) The Pursuit of Happyness. 2007.

The Fresh Prince sure can act.

112) American Beauty. 1999.

I tell Tina this film's placement. Tina: "That's a good fucking movie." 

111) Weekend at Bernie's. 1989.

If my boss died at a beach party, I don't think I could lift him to pretend like he was alive. 

110) Clear and Present Danger. 1994.

There's no real danger when Harrison Ford is around.

109) Varsity Blues. 1999.

Whip cream.

108) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. 2003.

I dare Kate Hudson to try to lose me. 

107) American Pie. 1999.

Shannon Elizabeth is a close personal friend. 

106) Bad Boys. 1995.

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

105) Risky Business. 1983.   

I hear she likes choo-choo trains.

104) Good Will Hunting. 1997.

You like apples? I got her number. How do you like them apples?

103) Vegas Vacation. 1997.

Don't use the same babysitter. 

102) L.A. Confidential. 1997.

Bad James Cromwell. Bad.

101) My Fellow Americans. 1996.

Go for the gold. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom didn't want to watch a college basketball show with me. "Look, I'm bored today. And I don't want to be watching none of your bullshit." 

For a second the remote doesn't work. Mom figures it out. "Same thing happened at the dentist's office. Girls couldn't turn on the fucking TV. I said just hit the cable button." 

Mom starts watching a soap opera. She doesn't like the beginning. "What the fuck?" The storyline pisses her off for the first 30 minutes. "What a fucking waste of time. Jesus. Fucking waste of time. Oh. Now, it's back to normal. Fucking Valentine's Day." 

Mom is flipping through the stations. She leaves it on Maury for a second. He says: "This reminds me of ... " Mom cuts him off while also going to the next station: "This show reminds me of bullshit." 

Mom asks me if I know anyone who watches Big Love. I tell her not that I know of. "I tried to watch the first season. Couldn't make it past the second episode. But from what I see in the previews, some of the shit they got going on right now is like unbelievable shit." 

I'm watching TV in my room. Mom is watching TV in the dining room. I leave my room to go to the kitchen. I pass mom. "I can hear your fucking TV from here." 

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know about the stimulus package? Did you know that Republicans don't like it? Did you know that A-Rod took performance-enhancing drugs? Did you know that a local woman threw her baby in the lake? (Paul tells me she used to work at the Palace.) Did you know that the digital transition was suppose to be complete tomorrow? Did you know that it got pushed back to June? (That was pointless.) Did you know that the Oscars are this Sunday? 

PARTING SHOT

Bake was getting antsy about a writer not sending a story Sunday night. 

Bake: Have we heard from Brittain?

Marcus: Not since we whooped their ass in the war.

Liam: No. I think we've heard from them since.