In their ad last week, Circuit City had a bunch of movies on sale for $3.99. I take a look at the selections, and I like eight movies that I don't already own. That's a heck of a price. So I do what I always do when Circuit City has a good deal: I went to Best Buy because they match prices. You see, Circuity City sucks. Since I never seemed to find what I was looking for there (please no U2 jokes), I stopped going. Besides, most people are going to buy the movies at Circuity City, and the store will soon run out of copies.
I go to Best Buy on Wednesday to buy the movies. Unfortunately, the new Best Buy (which also sucks) on Clearview didn't have three of my selections. I go to check out with my five movies. The trick here is what worker you get ringing up the items. If he/she has to call over the manager, you're probably up shit's creek.
Me: These movies are all on the $3.99 list at Circuity City.
Worker: OK. I wonder if I need to overwrite these one at a time. (He calls over the manager. Uh-oh.)
(The manager says to do them one at a time. OK, we have a shot here.)
Worker: Wait, come back. (Manager doesn't hear and keeps going.) Fucking bastard. Oops. I mean ..."
Me: Don't worry, I didn't hear anything.
(Another worker comes over to watch the process. Geez louise.)
Second worker: These are a big mark down. I don't know if we do price matches for these. (She talks to the manager in her walkie-talkie thing.) No, we can't do these price matches. They (Circuit City) must have some kind of deal with the vendor.
Bullshit. Their policy is to match any sale price of the competition. My mom has gone in there and bought six movies for four bucks a pop without a problem. All because the worker didn't ask for help from anyone. That's the key. I think the managers are against doing business and are for driving away customers.
I tucked tail and left. What I should have done was told the first worker: Look, you ring all these up for four bucks, and I won't tell your manager what you said about him. K?
He did ask me a question, though. Sir, would you still like to buy these for the regular price? Ummm. I did figure out a solution, though. I had Paul pick up the movies from Circuity City on Friday. He stops in there once a week anyway. Apparently, they still had seven of them in stock. And that ain't bad.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is getting into the show Mad Men on AMC. She's watching the first season on Demand, but she missed the season 2 premiere the other day. "It was supposed to be on Demand last Monday. It's fucking Friday, and it still ain't up. Fucking Cox."
I'm watching the Cubs game on my computer while she's watching a season 1 episode. She starts giggling. I take off my headphones and look. She says: "This guy had a heart attack while fucking."
THE REVIEWS ARE IN
Critics (and I mean my friends) have been raving about the Gene Pool.
Lisa: "The Gene Pool is the funniest thing I've ever read. No, I'm serious." (Tell me something I don't know.)
And then there is Bob.
"Are you aware that your blog has had a lot of grammatical errors lately?" (Thanks for keeping me grounded, Bawb. When this puppy hits the big time, you will be my first hire as copy editor. I'm talking big bucks here.)
THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR REVIEW
What I was expecting: An action adventure marathon with some good laughs and Brendan Fraser's dimples every five minutes. Oh, and for an improvement on the awful Mummy Returns from 2001.
What I liked: It was better than the Mummy Returns. Alex O'Connell didn't piss me off too much. The emperor mummy was awesome. The three-headed dragon ruled, and all that fire stuff was good. The abominable snowmen was a twist (based on what I saw in the preview). Good enough action scenes. Jonathan ended up with the crystal thingy.
What I didn't like: It pretty much copied the script from the first one. Well, I already own that. Rachel Weisz's replacement sucked. Brendan Fraser and his dimples took too much of a back seat. The whole living forever and bringing people back to life has been old for some time now. There wasn't much explanation to the powers of the emperor.
The result: Two feet (out of four) of Gene Pool water
AREIL, IS IT?
Me: I'm off Tuesday, Brick. So I can follow them if you want.
Stephen: I'm off too.
Me: We can go tailing together.
Marcus: I don't want to read that blog.
Marcus makes fun of me for taking a picture in the men's bathroom (see Wednesday's blog).
Me: You didn't tell everyone the full story. I took a picture of a sign.
Marcus: Did I lie?
Me: You didn't tell the full truth.Marcus: Yeah. But I didn't lie.
"Why don't you go take a crap and smoke a cigarette?"
THE DAILY TOP LIST
Drum roll please. We are now entering the Top 10 of my all-time favorite TV shows.
10) Heroes. Seasons: 2. Episodes: 34. 2006-present. Had the greatest first season ever made. Season 2 was ripped by fans, but when the first season is the greatest first season ever made, season 2 can't do nothing but take a dip. I have fun trying to guess what will happen next. Biggest other fan I know: Paul. (Though I've had extensive talks about the show with Bert, Brick, Greg and Minkus.)
9) Cheers. Seasons: 11. Episodes: 269. 1982-1993. Maybe the most underrated well-liked show of all-time. If that makes any sense. My favorite is when Norm gives a one-liner about drinking beer when he enters. Check them out: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055117386 Biggest other fan I know: Nick.
8) Boy Meets World. Seasons: 7. Episodes: 158. 1993-2000. I grew up with this. As Corey met the world, so too, did I meet the world. Except that bastard had Tapanga, and I had my covers. Biggest other fan I know: According to Bob, that would be all other Yats. Because "Yats love Boy Meets World."
7) Family Guy. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 110. 1999-2002. 2005-present. I don't know if I ever laughed harder than when I first started watching this show. It still gets me going, but not quite like it once did. The musical numbers are great, and Peter's unawareness is off the charts. Biggest other fan I know: Paul.
6) Scrubs. Seasons: 7. Episodes: 150. 2001-present. What comes before Part B? Part A. Get it? And it is a party every time I watch this show. Excpet for the sad episodes. Those make me cry. Hopefully, it ends on all the right notes: J.D. and Elliot not together, Rowdy with a lady friend, the Janitor with one last great rib on J.D. and that special hug we've all been waiting for. Biggest other fan I know: Jelly.
Bullshit. Their policy is to match any sale price of the competition. My mom has gone in there and bought six movies for four bucks a pop without a problem. All because the worker didn't ask for help from anyone. That's the key. I think the managers are against doing business and are for driving away customers.
I tucked tail and left. What I should have done was told the first worker: Look, you ring all these up for four bucks, and I won't tell your manager what you said about him. K?
He did ask me a question, though. Sir, would you still like to buy these for the regular price? Ummm. I did figure out a solution, though. I had Paul pick up the movies from Circuity City on Friday. He stops in there once a week anyway. Apparently, they still had seven of them in stock. And that ain't bad.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is getting into the show Mad Men on AMC. She's watching the first season on Demand, but she missed the season 2 premiere the other day. "It was supposed to be on Demand last Monday. It's fucking Friday, and it still ain't up. Fucking Cox."
I'm watching the Cubs game on my computer while she's watching a season 1 episode. She starts giggling. I take off my headphones and look. She says: "This guy had a heart attack while fucking."
THE REVIEWS ARE IN
Critics (and I mean my friends) have been raving about the Gene Pool.
Chuck: "The Tina Cursing Corner is now a daily ritual for me." (Me too. Mainly becomes I'm living it.)
Lisa: "The Gene Pool is the funniest thing I've ever read. No, I'm serious." (Tell me something I don't know.)
And then there is Bob.
"Are you aware that your blog has had a lot of grammatical errors lately?" (Thanks for keeping me grounded, Bawb. When this puppy hits the big time, you will be my first hire as copy editor. I'm talking big bucks here.)
THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR REVIEW
What I was expecting: An action adventure marathon with some good laughs and Brendan Fraser's dimples every five minutes. Oh, and for an improvement on the awful Mummy Returns from 2001.
What I liked: It was better than the Mummy Returns. Alex O'Connell didn't piss me off too much. The emperor mummy was awesome. The three-headed dragon ruled, and all that fire stuff was good. The abominable snowmen was a twist (based on what I saw in the preview). Good enough action scenes. Jonathan ended up with the crystal thingy.
What I didn't like: It pretty much copied the script from the first one. Well, I already own that. Rachel Weisz's replacement sucked. Brendan Fraser and his dimples took too much of a back seat. The whole living forever and bringing people back to life has been old for some time now. There wasn't much explanation to the powers of the emperor.
The result: Two feet (out of four) of Gene Pool water
AREIL, IS IT?
I went to the bank yesterday. See, I get out and do errands. OK, so it made me eight minutes late for work. Anyway, the teller's name was Areil. Not Ariel. Areil. I've seen variatons on names before (Britney, Brittany), but not like that. It looks so weird. How do you even pronounce that?
So, I did my research on google.com. A search for Areil yielded 92,800 entries. Mostly nonsense. Under Areil, I found a phone product, an inspection company, a 15-year-old on Myspace (no, I didn't request her to be a friend) and a real estate agent from Israel. So, the name is out there. Sort of. There is no Wikipedia entry for Areil. Ariel, on the other hand, has a Wikipedia page and spat out a cool 53,700,000 entries on google.
A JOKE WORTHY OF LAFFY TAFFY
I thought of a joke today. Yes, it's cheesy. And it might even be a joke you've heard several times before. But I have never heard it, so here it is. In what form do giraffes like to drink their beer? (Jeopardy music plays.)
Answer: Longnecks.
I'VE GOT TWO THINGS THAT SUCK FOR YOU
If I ever leave this job, I want to go work for Ticketmaster. They have to be making bank over there. You see the fees they put on when you buy tickets? As my mom would probably say, it's fucking ridiculous. First, they charge you a convenience charge. The more the tickets cost, the higher the convenience charge. I tried to buy 3 Doors Down tickets today, and the convenience charge for each ticket was $7.50. Just to buy tickets. Then, once you accept the tickets the system selected, it shows your total charge. At the end, they add a $3.50 order processing charge. You know, for the ability to buy the tickets online. That's $18.50 in addition to the tickets. Even though he's dead (allegedly), Tupac can picture them rollin'.
Crocs also suck. I think we can all agree on that. I didn't, however, know this was such a passionate topic with others until I read this article today. http://www.newsweek.com/id/150240/>1=43002. Paul and I have done the counting thing that the writer and his son do.
PARTING SHOTS
Three involving Marcus. First he describes what it's like to watch me blog.
"It's like watching Helen Keller drive."
He comes in at the end of the conversation. (Brick's daughter has a date Tuesday.)
So, I did my research on google.com. A search for Areil yielded 92,800 entries. Mostly nonsense. Under Areil, I found a phone product, an inspection company, a 15-year-old on Myspace (no, I didn't request her to be a friend) and a real estate agent from Israel. So, the name is out there. Sort of. There is no Wikipedia entry for Areil. Ariel, on the other hand, has a Wikipedia page and spat out a cool 53,700,000 entries on google.
A JOKE WORTHY OF LAFFY TAFFY
I thought of a joke today. Yes, it's cheesy. And it might even be a joke you've heard several times before. But I have never heard it, so here it is. In what form do giraffes like to drink their beer? (Jeopardy music plays.)
Answer: Longnecks.
I'VE GOT TWO THINGS THAT SUCK FOR YOU
If I ever leave this job, I want to go work for Ticketmaster. They have to be making bank over there. You see the fees they put on when you buy tickets? As my mom would probably say, it's fucking ridiculous. First, they charge you a convenience charge. The more the tickets cost, the higher the convenience charge. I tried to buy 3 Doors Down tickets today, and the convenience charge for each ticket was $7.50. Just to buy tickets. Then, once you accept the tickets the system selected, it shows your total charge. At the end, they add a $3.50 order processing charge. You know, for the ability to buy the tickets online. That's $18.50 in addition to the tickets. Even though he's dead (allegedly), Tupac can picture them rollin'.
Crocs also suck. I think we can all agree on that. I didn't, however, know this was such a passionate topic with others until I read this article today. http://www.newsweek.com/id/150240/>1=43002. Paul and I have done the counting thing that the writer and his son do.
PARTING SHOTS
Three involving Marcus. First he describes what it's like to watch me blog.
"It's like watching Helen Keller drive."
He comes in at the end of the conversation. (Brick's daughter has a date Tuesday.)
Me: I'm off Tuesday, Brick. So I can follow them if you want.
Stephen: I'm off too.
Me: We can go tailing together.
Marcus: I don't want to read that blog.
Marcus makes fun of me for taking a picture in the men's bathroom (see Wednesday's blog).
Me: You didn't tell everyone the full story. I took a picture of a sign.
Marcus: Did I lie?
Me: You didn't tell the full truth.Marcus: Yeah. But I didn't lie.
Me: I have a comeback, but I'm not going to use it.
Marcus: No, c'mon. You can tell me.
Marcus: No, c'mon. You can tell me.
Me: I can say you're carrying around 200 pounds, and that would be the truth too. But not the full truth. 
I correct JRap on a stat, but he puts me right back in my place. (At right, JRap reads the Gene Pool before heading home.)
"Why don't you go take a crap and smoke a cigarette?"
THE DAILY TOP LIST
Drum roll please. We are now entering the Top 10 of my all-time favorite TV shows.
10) Heroes. Seasons: 2. Episodes: 34. 2006-present. Had the greatest first season ever made. Season 2 was ripped by fans, but when the first season is the greatest first season ever made, season 2 can't do nothing but take a dip. I have fun trying to guess what will happen next. Biggest other fan I know: Paul. (Though I've had extensive talks about the show with Bert, Brick, Greg and Minkus.)
9) Cheers. Seasons: 11. Episodes: 269. 1982-1993. Maybe the most underrated well-liked show of all-time. If that makes any sense. My favorite is when Norm gives a one-liner about drinking beer when he enters. Check them out: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055117386 Biggest other fan I know: Nick.
8) Boy Meets World. Seasons: 7. Episodes: 158. 1993-2000. I grew up with this. As Corey met the world, so too, did I meet the world. Except that bastard had Tapanga, and I had my covers. Biggest other fan I know: According to Bob, that would be all other Yats. Because "Yats love Boy Meets World."
7) Family Guy. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 110. 1999-2002. 2005-present. I don't know if I ever laughed harder than when I first started watching this show. It still gets me going, but not quite like it once did. The musical numbers are great, and Peter's unawareness is off the charts. Biggest other fan I know: Paul.
6) Scrubs. Seasons: 7. Episodes: 150. 2001-present. What comes before Part B? Part A. Get it? And it is a party every time I watch this show. Excpet for the sad episodes. Those make me cry. Hopefully, it ends on all the right notes: J.D. and Elliot not together, Rowdy with a lady friend, the Janitor with one last great rib on J.D. and that special hug we've all been waiting for. Biggest other fan I know: Jelly.
1 comment:
You misquoted me, Gene. And you had a typo in your quote of Chuck. Or maybe you misquoted him, also.
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