A DEATH IN THE T-P FAMILY

In the middle of worrying about Gustav on Friday afternoon, I head downstairs with JRap to buy some five-cent Skittles to cheer me up. I assume the vendor still came earlier that day.

When I began to approach the machine, I immediately knew something was terribly wrong. I didn't see any bright red up ahead. Alas, the Skittles had been replaced. The F4 slot remains five cents, but now the occupant is a Zero bar. Yuck. What was the vendor thinking? Perhaps he knows it's five cents and decided to put a five-cent candy par in there.

I collapsed to the floor and tragically pressed my face against the glass of the machine. I returned to the department and made the somber announcement. The already low morale from Gustav sank even more. At dinner, we had a moment of silence. I took comfort in knowing we had a good run. D had a Zero. I asked him if he liked it. "Not really. It ain't Skittles." Amen, D. Amen.

Farewell, my good friend. You will be missed. Rest in peace.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I tell my mom that I'm leaving Saturday afternoon. "They can't start contraflow yet. They got all that traffic at the fucking game."

I'm watching the LSU game. "That is so fucking ridiculous."

I tell mom that I'm going to Baton Rouge with Paul. She's not to thrilled because the Red Stick doesn't look so safe either. "What the fuck are you going for?"

Mom sees all the trash I take out of my schoolbag to pack for the evacuation. "Fucking ridiculous. You have to save every little piece of paper there fucking is."

Mom got a call yesterday asking if she wanted to move her scheduled hair appointment next Wednesday to today. "Can you believe that? At 2:30. On Causeway and fucking Vets."

GUSTAV TRACKER

I took this picture at right of the sports department in case it's my last day of work at the T-P. I was scheduled to work Saturday, but I decided not to go in and head to Baton Rouge with Paul in the afternoon instead. I hope to be back at work Thursday. But who knows at this point. It don't look too good. Song of the day: Ludacris' Move Bitch. In my head, he's talking to Gustav. Move, bitch. Get out the way. Get out the way, bitch. Get out the way.

I watched the first half of the LSU game, though it didn't feel quite right. I felt like I should be doing something else. Quick observations: Charles Scott was impressive, the defense came prepared and I'll wait another game or two to form my opinion of the quarterbacks.

Today's famous Gustav: Gustave Flaubert. 1821-1880. He was a French writer most famous for producing Madame Bovary.

Did you know? Primeval, a horror film from last year, is based on the true story of Gustave, a 2,000 pound crocodile in east Africa. Orlando Jones was in it.

FANTASY FEVER

Liam and I were supposed to auction draft for our fantasy team Dos Agateers on Sunday afternoon. Gustav pushed the draft up to midnight Friday at Anselmo's. It's like I'm a regular there now. I show up just time from work for the draft to start.

We are an expansion team, but I think our draft came out all right. The two main running backs available (the rest are keepers) were Brian Westbrook and Frank Gore. (At right, the big board before the draft began. Our team is third from the left. As you might be able to tell, we don't have any players yet.) We had to get one of those two backs. Gore went first, and the price got too high. So, we had to take Westbrook. We also went high for Tom Brady. 

Besides our two stars, here's the rest of our main lineup:

RBs: Thomas Jones, Justin Fargas, Fred Taylor

WRs: Torry Holt, Donald Driver (at 2 bucks), Joey Galloway, Sydney Rice, Joey Porter

TE: Chris Cooley

With our last pick, we couldn't resist picking up a Saint for the squad. We took Patten.

I didn't see this joke coming, but in retrospect, I should have. Derry introduces Liam and me to the group as the new team. This guy wearing a Shockey jersey in the corner starts to chuckle. "What was their name? Dos Fagateers? Ha."

PARTING SHOT

Chuck hates Alabama (the state school). He encounters some fans evacuating to Atlanta.

"I must have rolled over 15 of those car flags that flew off their cars. I will never cheer for that team ever. They are the lowest common denominator in the gene pool."

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top times I cried because of a TV show, not counting a series finale. Note: Possible spoiler alert in the explanations.

5) Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

I don't know what season, but it's an episode where Will's real dad comes to town. Will hates him at first but grows quickly to love him. They make plans for a road trip. But pops takes off without an explanation. Will loses it and cries on Uncle Phil's shoulders. 

4) The season 2 finale of The Office.

Jim finally makes a move on Pam and kisses her. She tells him to stop the second time.

3) The season 1 finale of How I Met Your Mother.

Ted walks down the street to his apartment in the rain in the middle of the night to find Marshall sitting on the porch with the engagement ring Lily gave back to him.

2) A season 7 episode of Scrubs.

Kelso leaves his post. And you find out he had a soft heart all along.

1) The season 6 finale of Friends.

Chandler and Monica propose to each other. I can lose it just thinking about the moment.