At left, Kelly and Bert are sitting on the couch shortly after my arrival at Bert's apartment Saturday. Kelly talks to a relative about e-plans while Bert works on his flexing. At right, we take our seats at Walk-Ons for lunch. Allen is really excited to be in the picture. We went here because IHop was closed for some reason. The Walk-Ons waitress told us the restaurant plans to be open by Tuesday night using a generator. If anyone knows, they'll rake in the dough with no one having power. Smart move.

BACK IN THE BATON ROUGE

Paul and I evacuated to Bert's apartment in Baton Rouge on Saturday afternoon. We left my house at 4:40 p.m. Coincidentally, that is the same time I was born. This time we didn't get lost. We took a sort of back way to the Red Stick and arrived at 6:41 p.m.

Ivan evacuation to BR: 6 hours

Katrina evacuation to BR: 5 1/2 hours

Gustav evacuation to BR: 2 hours

Paul tells me that the Palace had three workers show up Saturday for work. Seven people came to the theatre to see a movie. He brought doughnuts for the workers using his company P-card.

Paul: Not sure what the P stands for.

Me: Palace? Paul?

Paul: It's P-card for all companies.

Me: Petty cash card?

Paul: Could be. Or it is pay card.

Me: Maybe you're supposed to pee on it.

I don't think I could be more worried about the storm. There are just too many bad thoughts and uneasy feelings in my system to write about. Besides, I don't have to tell you people about the state of worry. It's not like my readership lives in Washington, D.C. Well, if you don't count Lisa.

Speaking of Lisa, I had a fairly long conversation with her Saturday night. Talking to her on AIM helped me forget about Gustav for a few minutes. That felt nice. Plus, I think I gave her good dating advice. Never thought I'd say that.

We played a friendly game of poker late Saturday night. Kelly, who wasn't quite sure what she was doing, came in second place. Every hand she had hit on the flop. She couldn't miss. It always seems to work out that way. She probably would have won, but she folded the best hand several times because she was scared of the other person betting. Ah, girls.

Let me tell you about Allen, who is Bert's roommate, longtime friends with David and childhood friends with Minkus (though they haven't spoken in 10 years). He's not worried about possibly losing power for up to a week here in Baton Rouge. You see, Allen has spent two years in Iraq (mostly in Fallujah and Baghdad). He said he was once without power for three consecutive months and had to dig deep holes in the dirt to be cool enough to sleep and avoid mosquitoes. He ate MREs every day and savored finding a special treat of Skittles every now and again in the MRE. That's my kind of guy. He also says things like: "Yeah. The war wasn't bad. It got pretty bad after that, though."

Today's famous Gustav: Gustav Kirchhoff. 1824-1887. German physicist. He helped in the understanding of the basics of electrical circuits and coined the phrase black-body radiation in 1862. Kirchhoff's laws (about circuit theory and thermal emission) are named after him.

Did you know? The Carl Gustav is the name of a recoiless rifle used by U.S. Soldiers, who often call it the goose. It was first produced in 1946 and first used in 1948 in Swedish services.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I'm away from mom during the storm. She refuses to leave. So we can only guess the curses she'll bring to Gustav. Hopefully, she scares him away. But before I left Saturday, we were watching the forecast. "Every time I look at one of these things, they change the fucking time (of landfall)."

AND THE SURPRISE TEAM IS ...

Every year in the NFL, there is a team (or two) that reverses its fortunes from the previous year, despite predictions to the contrary. I believe this surprise team has to be 6-10 or worse one year and then above .500 the next. Eight such teams qualified for that criteria. In the poll, I didn't include the Jets and Rams because I think those teams have solid expectations. I also didn't include the Dolphins because they're my team, and I always think they'll be good. Shut up.

According to readers of The Gene Pool, the Raiders will be that surprise team. Have ya'll seen JaMarcus in the preseason? Not good. But some woeful team had to win the poll. The 49ers received the fewest votes, which tells me that they will be the surprise team.

MY WEEKLY CUBS THOUGHTS

-- In the past six games, six starting pitchers have taken the mound. The Cubs have one quality start. By Jason Marquis. Take that, Derry.

-- The Cubs lost by more than two runs four times in August. That brings the total to 20.

-- A-Ram-Ram has 100 RBIs entering September. If he gets his average near .300, I think he should at least be in the Top 3 in NL MVP voting.

-- In August, the Cubbies went 20-8. That's impressive.

-- MVP of the Week: Carlos Marmol. He pitched three consecutive days, going 3 2/3 innings. He struck out seven of the 12 batters he faced and didn't allow a hit. He's baaaaccckk.

-- The Phillies meet on the mound a lot. Brenly called them "the meetingest team in the majors."

-- Jeff Samardzija went the whole month of August without an earned run. He pitched 14 1/3 innings in 13 appearances and struck out 13.

-- I watched the comeback Thursday night after returning from the Saints-Dolphins game. I didn't know what happened, and so the big rally in the eighth was awesome. Once these guys get a rally going, it seems impossible for the other team to stop it. I felt like the Phillies relievers knew after a few hitters that the game was over, even though Philly still led.

PARTING SHOTS

Jacob is worried about his hamster during the evacuation Saturday.

Kelly: "I've killed 21 hamsters in my life. I'll kill another one if I have to."

Paul gets a text from a co-worker making sure he got out of the city OK. She laughed at his response.

Co-worker: Are you straight?

Paul: Last time I checked.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top 5 moments of August.

5) The Gene Pool party.

I recently learned Kaila did not eat as much of Tina's turkey sandwiches (which are tiny by the way) as I thought. Turns out, Paul discovered he likes turkey that night. Maybe mom's sandwiches are magical.

4) Fantasy auction drafts.

I did two of these in August. I have Tom Brady in both leagues.

3) A surprising engagement.

Another one of my friends makes that lifelong commitment. And to quite a looker. The number of my non-ring-wearing friends continues to dwindle.

2) One night, two rejections.

First gal had a boyfriend; still not sure what the second girl said.

1) Hurricane Gustav makes its way to the Big Easy.

Do you think somewhere out there, a couple exists with the names Katrina and Gustav?