(that title is for you, Bob)
I've had nobody to talk to upon returning home from work the past two nights. That is in contrast to my time spent in Baton Rouge during Hurricane Gustav. We had six people sleeping in the apartment with one frequent visitor. It was hot as balls soup (Jacob and Allen's words, not mine), but I did come away with some fond memories. I feel nostalgic for those times already. My way to cope with this situation is to compare the people in our apartment holed up with no power to characters on 24. Those people fight terrorism; we fought the urge not to go crazy and start killing each other.
ME: Chloe O'Brian.
Chloe is a wiz on computers. I spent most of my time in Baton Rouge at a computer, especially when we had power. I watched Bob Breck online and updated everyone on the storm constantly, much like Chloe gives Jack updates. Chloe is rarely out in the field. I didn't dare go outside in the middle of the storm.
ALLEN: Jack Bauer.
Jack spent time on a secret mission in the Middle East. Allen was in Iraq for two years. Both know how to handle adverse conditions. Jack has survived six of the worst days one person has ever endured. About having no power, Allen said: "I'm used to this. I've lived it." Plus, they both have ended their fair share of lives.
PAUL: Tony Almeida.
Tony is my favorite 24 character. Paul is my best friend. Tony is of Spanish descent. Paul's last name is Cuadrado, Spanish for square. And Paul is trying to date a girl named Michelle, the name of Tony's wife.
DAVID: Ryan Chapelle.
David lives in the same apartment complex as Bert. He often stopped by to hang out during my time in Baton Rouge. Chapelle is the regional director of CTU and often stops by Los Angeles CTU headquarters when he thinks his presence is needed. Chapelle uses his computer knowledge to cause the bad guy havoc in Season 3. David knows a shitload about computers. (That's David's girlfriend, Sarah, sitting next to him. She probably wouldn't laugh if David's life ended like Chapelle's life did on the show.)
BERT: Bill Buchanan.
Buchanan is the head of CTU Los Angeles for three seasons. Bert was the head of our apartment. He taped the windows, busted out all the candles when the power went out, cooked jambalaya Saturday night and told people to cleanup when he sensed a mess building up.
KELLY: Karen Hayes.
Karen marries Bill. I believe one day Kelly will marry Bert. Karen works for Homeland Security and then as the National Security Advisor in Washington, far away from Los Angeles. Kelly was with her family (apart from us) for about a day before the storm hit. She then returned, like Karen makes her way to Los Angeles to be with Bill in Season 6.
JACOB: Curtis Manning.
Curtis doesn't take shit from terrorists. Jacob will "end you" if you mess with him. Curtis and Jack have a special bond. Jacob and Allen can have a full conversation by quoting Family Guy lines back and forth. When I was making these comparisons, I asked Jacob if he was OK with being a black guy. "Oh yeah. I really want to say, 'Kiss my big black ass!' "
CHUCK: David Palmer.
OK. So Chuck was in Atlanta. But I think he might cry if I did a 24 comparison and didn't include him. Besides, I talked to him enough while I was in Baton Rouge to make me feel as if he were there. Palmer is the president of the United States. Chuck was the Maroon editor. Which basically makes them equals. Palmer guided the country through several acts of terrorism. Chuck was a rock during our coverage of Hurricane Katrina.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom has been busy since last Friday preparing for Gustav and cleaning up after the Swedish lad left the area. "I'm fucking dead. My neck is so sore."
Paul comes over late last night to watch some DVDs. I tell mom this as he knocks at the door. "What the fuck are ya'll going to watch?"
We still don't have cable. At right is the down cable line across the street. "If that fucking line wouldn't have fell across the street, we'd have fucking cable. (Note: This is the first picture featured in the TCC. What. What.)
Mom tries to adjust the rabbit ears to receive ABC. No dice. She puts the TV back on CBS. "My fucking picture is worse. ... I can't figure out how to hook up the fucking loop. You need it for anything but 4, 6 and 8."
Mom calls Cox to see how long the delay will be. No answer. "Yeah. I think we're fucked on cable."
Our neighbor across the street has also been calling Cox. "Not for cable but for the Internet. He's using his Palm Pilot right now. He's worried about his fucking Palm Pilot. And getting on the fucking Internet."
Mom is parking at Seither's, but a truck is messing with her path. "If I get a fucking nail in my car because of that asshole ..."
This isn't a curse, but I have to tell you this comment my mom made. I tell her that the Chinese basketball team lacks quick point guards because the country is likely to put quick youngsters in the soccer program. Mom: "They play soccer in China?"
SIGN OF THE TIMES
Apparently, the cleaning people aren't the only ones in this building that are incapable of putting together a properly worded sign. The cafeteria posted a note around the building this week asking for people to use one-dollar bills because the cafeteria was running low on them. That's fine. But in a three-sentence note, can't they make sure it is correctly written?
I think the problem here is that the cafeteria person who wrote the note tried to use too big a word to impress us newspaper folk. Recirculation is nice. Of course, recirculating might have worked just a little bit better. Instead, the second sentence could have simply said: Please pay with $1 bills if possible. Maybe the next note will be the first correct one. Oh, who am I kidding?
DID YOU KNOW?
Did you know that Sarah Palin's unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant? Have you heard about that? This should shake the foundation of the election. Of course, the one time she leaves the country, her daughter gets knocked up. And people are wondering why she just got her passport.
Seriously though, this pregnancy thing means zilch to me in terms of my vote, which at this time is undecided. Teenagers are going to have sex, and all parents can do is educate them about the dangers and consequences. After that, unless the parents are psycho and keep the teenager under lock and key, the parents pretty much have to take their chances. I do think it's a mistake for the daughter to be marrying the father just to save face for the Republicans in the public eye. She's 17 for crying out loud. This marriage has about as much chance of lasting as me finding my perfect mate on one of those late-night phone lines. I know those chicks on the phone aren't as hot as the woman in the TV ads. Not that I experienced this myself.
By the by, I flipped through the stations at one point during McCain's speech last night. Eleven stations were showing it, not counting Fox, which was showing local news.
PARTING SHOT
JRap is watching the South Carolina-Vandy game.
JRap: Now, on this third-and-4 play. ...
D: Foreplay?!?
Anne is looking for a spoon, and I tell her that D probably has one. D sees her approaching his desk.
D: You wanna spoon?
THE DAILY TOP LIST
My favorite 5 game shows.
5) Password.
This one is before my time, but I love the concept. My generation calls this game Taboo. Password is a little more simple. I need to convince my friends to play this on game night.
4) Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
I watched this when I got home from school everyday for about two years. Had a catchy little theme song, and it educated me on geography.
3) Family Feud.
I love trying to guess the No. 1 answer on the board. I think I would be pretty good at fast money. I don't like the points structure on this show, though. Seems like you mainly need to win the triple-point round.
2) Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Anybody else notice that Regis was trying to help the contestants by the tone of his voice? This hasn't stood the test of time like other big-time game shows, but I would watch re-runs of this thing all day if I could.
1) Jeopardy!
I've read the wikipedia page for this show. Plus, I had a slight man crush on Ken Jennings. Wrote a column in the school paper on him. What is he doing now?
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