A FOX AND A HOUND



Paul and I planned to meet at the Fox & the Hound for the Saints-Redskins on Sunday. I got there at 11:53 p.m. and called him, but he didn't answer. I got a table for two in the center area. Eight minutes later, I see him in the next section of the restaurant. Apparently, he was waiting on me. Thanks for calling. We decided to sit at my table because ...


Christine was the waitress at my table. I thought it might be slightly creepy and make her uncomfortable if I took a picture of her from the front. Not that this way is any better. No, I didn't hit on the waitress. At least, I wasn't trying to hit on her. She was out my league and a smoker.

We did talk quite a bit. I think she knew she could get a good tip out of me (which she did). But I did make her legitimately laugh twice. When the Saints were down 6-0, she asked us if we needed anything else. I said: "Yes. I'd like to order a touchdown, please."


Christine: Oh. They could use one. I'll go ring that up.
Me: How much does that run?
Christine: It's pretty steep. It'll cost ya.
Me: What the heck. They're worth it.


The next play was the fumble in the second quarter, which led to a touchdown. When she came back around to us, I made sure to thank her. "No problem, darling."


I resisted saying two lines that popped in my head. She was taking my coleslaw off the table. I said I didn't want it, and she said she didn't like coleslaw either. In my head, I thought: "Yeah. I give a cole shoulder to it." In the second half, it got real hot in the restaurant. I ask Christine what's the deal, yo.


Christine: Oh, the air conditioner broke. A pipe burst, and they have to order a part. It's really starting to get to me. I feel delusional. This jersey is tightening up on me (she tugs at it) and making it worse.
What I wanted to say: Just go ahead and take it off. Then you won't be so as hot.
What I did say: Just go in the bathroom and splash some water on your face.


After the Redskins took the lead, she came by to ask if I wanted to order another touchdown. Yes, please. I asked her if there was a button on the register to push to add it to the order. She said no; she has to go back in the kitchen and special order it. Apparently, the second touchdown order took to long to process. As we were paying after the game, I told her to go ahead and cancel that TD order. I'll just get one next week.

I should have gotten a better shot, but if you look really close to the left of the guy with the Bush jersey, you will notice a laptop. Some dude brought his laptop to the restaurant so he could monitor his fantasy team. Some people take this shit way too seriously. There are like eight games going on around him, and he's sitting there clicking on the stats for all the games. And he's eating. He cheered a lot, so I guess his troopers were scoring some touchdowns.

A shot of the crowd in the center area at the Fox & the Hound. There is a guy sitting at the table in the middle of this picture wearing a Devery Henderson jersey. Devery? Really? I think this is the first time I've ever seen.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is discussing Hurricane Ike. "Fucking Texas got destroyed. Houston is like the fourth largest city. It's like one of the biggest fucking states in the country. How'd they get all those people out?"

Mom read a story in the Living section about a Gustav evacuee. "She realized she was headed in the wrong fucking direction to her parents house in Donaldsonville. She went back home and called the airlines. She said give me a flight anywhere. She ends up going to fucking Vegas with her niece. She seen all the shows."

IS THIS THE 75TH BLOG IN A ROW?

When I did my first real entry of The Gene Pool way back when while sitting in Marcus' chair, I didn't think that I would be writing every day. I thought, eh, I'll update it a couple of times a week. I didn't even have a blog the next day. But that was the last day I didn't put up a posting. Well, sort of.

I missed a few days when I didn't have power during Gustav in Baton Rouge. I did, however, take copious notes on my trusty pad (which is running low on paper) and was able to start a blog on each day. I just happened to finish - OK, I had hardly written anything - four days worth on one day. So, I put the validity of my precious streak up to a vote. Yes: Seven votes (a special thanks to you fine folks). No: Six votes. Case closed. Well, sort of.

The most common answer was the first No option at five votes. I know Derry was the one person who voted for the second No option, but I haven't a clue as to the identities of the Blog Streak Hating Five. I demand you show yourselves and suffer the consequences. You have one day. I'm kidding. Well, sort of.

The No votes really hurt. I take great pride in this damn site, and it's one of the only things I have going for me. Telling me my consecutive days blogging streak is over would be like telling the designers at the T-P to stop baking or like telling Paul to burn his comic books or like telling Amanda that Cane's went out of business (are you still reading this?) or like telling Bob to take off his Yankees cap. You just wouldn't do that. All things considered, I declare the streak to be like Frankenstein's monster: Alive. I can't say how much longer the streak will continue, though. I'm getting crazy busy. Well, sort of.

THE REDSKINS HAVE THE SAINTS' NUMBER

1) If the Saints wouldn't have squandered the lead in the fourth quarter, the focus of the conversation would have once again been about Red Meat. He returned a punt for a touchdown and had several catches for first downs. Yet he can't get it going in the run game.

2) Fourteen out of 17 votes predicted the Saints to finish 9-7 or 10-6. In my bold predictions (some of which look really good so far), I said they would go 10-6. Sunday's lost puts that in jeopardy. Six of the remaining games will be tough to win. If they lose all those and win every other game, they'll finish 9-7. To go 10-6, they have to win all those winnable games plus win one of the following: at Tampa Bay, at Carolina, at Denver, vs. San Diego in London, at Chicago or at home against Green Bay.

3) This wasn't the real Saints team. Would have been nice to start 2-0, but it's not like the team won't get better. They are missing their best cornerback (McKenzie guarding Moss might have changed the game completely around), their most reliable linebacker, a running back, their No. 1 receiver, a starting defensive lineman, another cornerback and their best running back. I know Deuce had two carries Sunday, but who is really counting that?

4) Four plays changed the game in favor of the Redskins. (In order) a) Third quarter. Saints 17-9. Redskins ball. Third-and-six from Saints' 13. Will Smith busts straight through and sacks Campbell for a seven-yard loss, which would set up a 37-yard FG. That was no guarantee Sunday for Washington. Instead, there was a penalty for defensive holding against Craft. It seemed to me that there wasn't even enough time to hold, Smith got there so quick. The Redskins then scored a touchdown.

b) 4th quarter. Saints 24-15. Saints ball. Third-and-five from Redskins' 49. Brees incomplete to Patten. LaRon Landry broke it up. That's because of the location of the pass. Patten had position, but Brees threw the ball behind him. If he throws the ball in front of Patten, Patten catches it, and the game is over.

c) 4th quarter. Saints 24-15. Redskins ball. Second-and-22 from Redskins' 6. Smith had just sacked Campbell. The defense is set up in good position. But on second down, Cooley is wide open for a 23-yard pass play. How is he that wide open? We thought they were running?

d) 4th quarter. Saints 24-22. Saints ball. Third-and-1 from Saints' 37. A first down doesn't seal it, but one more after that does. Pierre Thomas to the right. No gain. Stuffed. Other options on this play. 1) Give it to Deuce, who got five yards on each of his carries. 2) Play action pass to Shockey. What happened to him in the second half? 3) Sweep to Red Meat. Let him get to the sideline. 4) Use Red Meat as a decoy (a la 2006) and then give it to Thomas.

MY WEEKLY CUBS THOUGHTS: THE ZAMBRANO NO-HITTER EDITION!

My favorite player threw a no-hitter Sunday night. Holy crap.

-- I didn't turn the game on until the ninth inning. I forgot that FSN shows all Astros game. What a bonehead. I'm talking to my friend Doug on AIM.

Doug: Are you watching this? This is incredible.

Me: No. I'm at work. It isn't on TV.

Doug: I'm watching it on FSN.

Me: Fuck.

-- Big Z on his performance: "I still can't believe it. ... I'm tired from jumping on the mound with my teammates. ... I think the grass helped me out a lot. All my pitches were working great today. I was watching the gun in the first inning. I was throwing 98, 99. I said, 'Let's get it on.' "

-- I first looked at the box on the Internet after the fourth inning. I noticed the Cubs were winning 5-0, but I didn't notice that the Astros had zero hits.

-- Closest call: Geoff Blum to start the eighth. He smacked the ball into right, and DeRosa chased it down. If I was watching live, I would have thought: Well, that's over.

-- The jinx birds were out at work. Bake first announced the no-no after the sixth. People knew I didn't want anyone to say anything. Which means they said a lot of things about the no-hitter. It didn't work, though, bitches.

-- I watched the replay when I got home. Fox advertised for Sunday (that's Sept. 14) afternoon's games on the network during the commercial before the bottom of the ninth in Sunday night's game. A little late for that ad. Even stranger, when the game came back from commercial after the top of the ninth, it was the top of the ninth again. I really enjoyed watching those three outs by the Cubs again. Thanks.

-- The Astros announcers seemed a tad bitter about the neutral-site series. They were a little over the top, but I can't really blame them. Houston's "home game" turned into 23,000 fans chanting: Let's Go Z! Let's Go Z!

-- I was a bit giddy at work as the outs piled up. I was standing, leaning on my desk and doing a combination of bouncing up and down and dancing. I had a lot of nervous energy.

-- I had my Sunday Saints shirt on. Not my Zambrano jersey. As of Saturday night, I'm pretty sure Marquis was supposed to start. I had no idea Big Z was pitching until right before the game. I don't think this alters my tradition of wearing his jersey when he pitches. I think everything else about the game (a home road game in Milwaukee, the scheduling craziness, etc.) offset me not wearing my jersey.

-- Quick stats for future reference: First Cubs no-hitter since Milt Pappas in 1972. First player with a last name starting with Z to throw a no-hitter. It was the first no-hitter at Miller Park and the first no-hitter in a neutral-site game. Big Z allowed a walk and hit a batter. He had 10 strikeouts. Darin Erstad was the final out, swinging at ball four. It was the first no-hitter ever on Sept. 14. Kevin Orie was not playing third base.

PARTING SHOT

We're watching the end of the Steelers-Browns game. We have this office pool where you pick all the winners using the spread and order all the games in how confident you feel about your picks. We're doing it for the whole season. Liam picked the Browns (correct). I picked the Steelers, who were favored by 6 1/2. (I went 9-5 Sunday.)

Liam: I don't care if they (the Browns) win or lose.

Me: You care about how they play the game?

Liam: No. I care if they cover the spread.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

TV season starts Monday, even though most of my shows don't start until next week. Here are my top 5 questions heading into the fall campaign.

5) Will I watch any new shows?

Unlikely. I have enough shows, and none of the new shows seem interesting to me. I do have a standing policy to at least watch the first episode of as many new comedies as possible.

4) Will House (the show, not the person) find a better balance between the old staff and new staff?

I still enjoyed Season 4. And I thought bringing in a new team was a fresh idea. Cameron and Chase, however, were pretty much non-existent. I would like to seem them become more involved.

3) Will Heroes blow me away?

Season 1 blew me away like nothing I've seen before. Season 2 was good but was missing something. Part of that had to be the strike's fault. I'm predicting Sylar will end up helping the heroes fight the bad guys, if only to steal their powers for himself.

2) Is Stella the mother on How I Met Your Mother and if not, will we meet her this year?

I'm conflicted here. I thought Stella (Elliot on Scrubs) and Ted went well together. But at the same time, if she's the mother, doesn't that spell the end of the show?

1) How long can The Office prevent a PBJ (Pam Beesly and Jim) engagement from happening?

They pulled a fast one on us in the Season 4 finale with Andy's proposal. I think they should drag this out as long as possible, maybe even to the season finale. Here's how: Pam comes back from three months of art school in New York, right? The swerve is that she met a new and exciting friend there who is a man. Jim's about to propose again when guess who comes for a visit? Rick (my guess for his name) is all flirty with Pam, who doesn't notice what's going on. But Jim does. And he gives us a look (nay, a hundred looks) to tell us.

Jim tries to tell Pam, who dismisses the notion. Except Jim can't let it go. He does something crazy, Pam gets pissed and they take - wait for it, wait for it - a break. Just when you think all hope is lost, Jim gets his head screwed on straight, Rick shows his sleazeball side, and we have a dramatic proposal. Everyone cries.

My actual prediction is that the engagement happens on the last episode before the holiday-season break.