AT LEAST NONE OF THEIR GAMES ARE BORING

The Saints game started at 3:05 Sunday, and my shift started at 4. Bert, Kelly, Jacob and Paul were at the Fox and Hound to watch the game when I left there at 2:45. It sucked not to be able to watch with my friends. It was either drive to work during the game or watch the whole thing there. I chose option B. Thoughts on the game that put the Saints at 1-2.

1) I was fully expecting the Saints to lose this one. Though I was expecting a blowout. I was happy with the team's effort, especially after being down 21-3. Overall, they played well enough to win. Brees and the offense had scoring drives of 10, 12 and 15 plays. The defense, despite not being able to stop the run or Brandon Marshall (who is a stud), did cause two turnovers and got a safety. McKenzie looked good. We're this close (you can't see me, but I have my hands 1 yard apart) from being 3-0.

2) Jason David gets in the game. Where was Young? He actually provides good coverage for the first time as a Saint. And ... he's flagged for pass interference. Twice. I thought the first one was a bad call. The second could have gone either way. Later, David recovered a fumble that could have set up the game-winning score. Did you see him scoop up that thing. I'm telling you, David is one of the best fumble picker uppers in the game today. On the fumble recovery, Vilma blew it. He sprints up the sideline looking for someone to block and runs right past the guy who tackles David. And the Saints had a three-man convoy up ahead to guide David. Damn it.

3) Through three games, Bush has made enough significant plays to silence the critics. I'm sure the complaining, however, won't stop. Red Meat did fumble on third-and-1. That play really put the Saints in a hole. I saw him miss a chance to bounce it outside on a run in the first quarter. But he had a great game. His touchdown run was excellent. He kept the chains moving in the passing game. 

4) I'm officially worried about this Deuce situation. I saw him standing there on the sideline in full uniform, even stretching at one point. I saw him looking at pictures with Brees. Yet in the gamebook, he was inactive. They certainly can use him on these third-and-1 plays. He looked good in the preseason. What's the deal, Payton? Deuce can't be too happy. I sense a trade in our future.

5) Three plays in the fourth quarter prevented the Saints from winning. 

a) The two-point conversion play.

A roll out? Are you serious? This is the worst play to run in this situation. LSU ran the same play last night and got the same result. You basically send two receivers in the pattern with five or six defenders. I wonder why that didn't work. Better options: 1) Fade to Colston. Oh wait. 2) Pitch to Red Meat. 3) They were reeling at the time. Ram it up the middle.

b) The third-and-1 right before the two-minute warning.

Late in the fourth quarter. Convert and put yourself in good shape to win. You then get five or six more yards in the next three plays and set up the field goal in the middle of the field. In a similar situation last week, the Saints ran Pierre Thomas to the right side for no gain because the right end wasn't blocked. This time, they run Pierre Thomas to the right side for minus one because the right end wasn't blocked. And people are saying the exact same thing happened. 

Seriously, how can you run the EXACT same play as the one that cost you the game the week before and you spent the entire week answering questions about it? If you count the stuff on fourth-and-1 in the first half, that's three times Thomas has been stuffed in big-time short yardage situations. By the way, why not a throw on that play?

c) The missed 43-yard field goal by Gramatica. 

Instead of recovering a fumble on the previous possession, the Saints should have allowed the Broncos to kick a field goal. That way the deficit would have been five. Needing a touchdown, we wouldn't have tried to run out the clock with conservative play calling. Sounds crazy. But is it really?

The kick was the same distance as the kick he made in the first quarter. They were both on the right hash mark as well. Hey, he's never missed a kick at the Superdome.

6) Braves man, who we just learned is left-handed, called for a Braves score during the second quarter Sunday. Jelly asks him if he's watching the Saints game. He says no. He had two thoughts about the team, though. (If you don't know who Braves man is, I recommend the first entry of the Aug. 10 blog. You won't be disappointed.)

a) "Drew Brees is from Texas. It should be spelled T-E-X-A-S-S.

b) Braves man doesn't like Sean Payton. "My Aunt Minerva could coach the Saints better. If I had an Aunt Minerva."

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is now watching Six Feet Under. "This shit is funny." I had just got up for the day and was starting to walk to the bathroom. Mom keeps on talking. As I get to the bathroom. "I don't even know who I'm fucking talking to."

Mom continues to talk about Six Feet Under during lunch. "I can't figure out who the fucking daddy is."

THESE PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

I saw three bad driving moves Sunday. I should let mom drive with these people.

1) I'm walking home from church, and the Harahan police are out on the highway stopping traffic for people to cross the street from church. Why they do this, I'm not sure. One car starts to go past where the cops are stopping traffic. The cop starts yelling at the car and then approaches the driver. I'm hoping to see fireworks. The window gets rolled down, and the cop goes off on the driver for a solid 30 seconds. He finishes and goes back to his work.

I'm now across the street, but as I'm walking toward my house, I take a look see at the driver. I'm expecting to see a teenager with his hat turned sideways. Instead, I see an old lady.

2) I'm driving to the Fox and Hound to catch some second-half action of the noon games. I'm going 20 mph down my street, and I see a car backing out the driveway. It's a cop car. I press my horn, but the copper ignores it or doesn't notice it. So I hit my brakes. I don't think the cop ever saw me. When it was finished backing out into the street, our cars were about 10 feet apart. Good thing I wasn't going my usual 30 mph down the street.

3) I get on the Causeway on the way to work. There is an ambulance with its siren on coming 

up a little bit behind me. There are two lanes, and I look in my mirror to see which one the ambulance will take as it gets on the Causeway. It picks the other lane. Fine. As the ambulance picks up steam in the left lane, a numnutz two cars ahead in my lane gets over into the left lane. Two seconds later, numnutz had to get back in the right lane because the ambulance was about to run into the back of it. Some people just don't pay attention. 

MY WEEKLY CUBS THOUGHTS

-- The Cubs won the division title for the second year in a row. This is a much better team than the first one. It's also the first time the Cubs have made the playoffs two seasons in a row in 100 years. Haha. Very funny.

-- The Cubs don't have anyone hitting .300. Theriot was above .300 most of the year until his current 18 at-bats in a row without a hit. Seven times this month he has gone 0-for-at-least-3. He averaged exactly five of those per month the rest of the season. 

-- In my first or second installment of this segment, I predicted that Soriano would lead the team in homers. That's pretty much sealed. 

-- The Cubs had one of the best benches in history Sunday. Think about all the home runs sitting on the pine: Soriano (29), Ramirez (26), Soto (23), DeRosa (20), Lee (19), Edmonds (19).

-- The NL MVP is unclear. I think they'll give it to Howard or Pujols. Two great players. But: Have you seen Howard's strikeout totals and batting average? Have you seen where the Cardinals are in the standings? Here's my case for A-Ram-Ram for MVP: He's been the most productive hitter on the best team in the league. He has 109 RBI, a .376 OBP, 42 doubles and like six game-winning home runs.

-- In 30 appearances since the All-Star break, Marmol has allowed an earned run four times, and all four times, it was one earned run. That's this week's good sign for October.

-- The Cubs' win Sunday clinched a free dinner for me. JRap, Brick and I bet Derry at the beginning of the season that the Mets would not finish with the best record in the NL. 

THE TAPE MACHINES ARE ROLLING

I taped the LSU-Auburn game in my room. Late last night, I rewind the tape to start watching the Road Team Finally Wins One Game. I hit play and see something I wasn't expecting to see. I had rewound a bit too far and went into the thing on the tape before the game. I figured I went too far, but I was expecting to see wrestling or the season finale of Psych. What I did see made my jaw drop.

Remember the Tina Cursing Corner the other day when mom and I were watching an old tape of me playing basketball? Well, I forgot to switch the tapes out. That's right. I taped over 16-year-old footage of me taking the other 8-year-olds to school. You see me dribbling, you see me scoring and then boom! Mike Patrick is introducing LSU. 

I didn't make any motion for a minute as I stared at the TV wide-eyed and with my mouth open. I'm not exactly sure how much and what I taped over. I was in the process of watching the tape for the first time in 16 years. I do know that where it cut off was my best season.

When I first realized I used the wrong tape, I hoped that by some miracle the VCR didn't tape. Maybe it knew not to tape over such vintage footage. Maybe the tape was set not to be taped over. Maybe I inputted the wrong date when I set the VCR. No such miracle happened.

I still have the first 40 minutes of that tape. So, it's not a complete loss. And I sure as hell ain't telling mom. I don't care how much you want to read her curse about that one. I'm not doing it. Besides, mom taped every freakin' thing I did when I was younger. There are like 10 other full tapes of material.

PARTING SHOTS

Jelly is talking to me about Page 2.

Jelly: MNF is on the radio.

Bake: Who'd she call an MF?

JRap notes that Bush's second TD Sunday was similar to his TD vs. Tampa.

JRap: It's the same play they scored against Tampa on.

Liam: Did you see Tampon?

Lopes watches the final play of the Saints game.

Lopes: Reggie shouldn't have pitched. Everyone knew he was hooking.

Liam: Yeah. Paul's the only one who didn't know he was hooking.

Retro quote: September 21, 2004.

I'm in the Maroon office trying to figure something out.

Me: What's a fussbudget?

Ide: Your mom's a fussbudget.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top five most disappointing sequels.

5) The Whole Ten Yards. 2004.

It took me a whole ten minutes to realize this film was going to suck. Seemed like they writing it as they were filming it. Somebody recently told me that he had never heard the phrase "the whole nine yards" before. Jeez.

4) Shrek 2. 2004.

This one is widely accepted as far as sequels go. Most feel it compares favorably to the first one. And I think Paul likes it more. But it bored the heck out of me. It didn't have the fun or the heart of the first one.

3) Men In Black II. 2002.

Awesome first movie. Aliens. Lots of ass kicking. Will Smith. Sign me up for the second one. Accept this movie was terrible. Had a convoluted plot. I was bored. It didn't do anything for me. 

2) The Mummy Returns. 2001.

I didn't buy the whole you-can-bring-a-regular-human-person-back-from-the-dead thing. Of these five, it's the one I do own. Well, it's on tape, if you still count that. I don't plan on ever watching it again, though. 

1) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. 2007.

Everybody kept turning on everybody. It didn't capitalize on the dramatic ending scenes of the second one. At one point, there were like 100 Johnny Depps on the screen. There was a giant woman and crabs everywhere. I wanted the money I didn't pay to see it back.