I WANT TO SEE HOCKEY PLAYERS DO THIS TOO

I've become slightly obsessed with the most common teammate interaction in sports today. I've seen it done in all three major sports and wonder how players ever congratulated each other before. The darn thing doesn't even have a name, except the one I've given it. Actually, I can't remember if I came up with it or heard somebody else say it and adopted it. But most people I ask have no idea where it came from or what it is called. That's right. I'm talking about the Jump Bump.

A player scores a touchdown. He tosses the ball to the referee and spots a teammate. They charge at each other and twist their bodies as they jump. They collide with their side and part of the back in mid-air. You can't avoid this phenomenon. Some baseball teams Jump Bump in the dugout after a home run. The Cubs outfielders do it in center field after the final out of wins. Heck, Jelly and I did it once after an LSU touchdown.

I googled Jump Bump and got nothing on this topic. I went on the wikipedia page for touchdown celebrations. No mention. I first really took notice of this craze last college football season, mainly because of LSU. We have like 10 pictures in the library of LSU players (namely Byrd and LaFell) bumping in mid-air. I haven't seen a SportsCenter special, an investigative report, a story or even a quote about this thing. Nothing. Maybe I'm blind. I don't know. Or perhaps it's like the origins of the M-V-P chant: We'll just never know.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about the Jump Bump. I really like it. I just wish I knew why it started, who started it and if Jump Bump is the best name for it. I mean I see the JB more than the high-five. 

My favorite use of the Jump Bump is done by the Hornets. Or should I say was done by the Hornets. First, when Chris Paul comes off the bench during the starting lineup introduction, he slaps hands with the bench guys and then charges at Tyson for a JB (Hope your not dyslexic). Then, as the other four starters break the team huddle and head to the court, Paul hangs around by the scorer's table. Instead of walking on the court, he runs down the sideline and Jump Bumps with Pargo, who after breaking the huddle walks down toward the end of the bench, then dramatically turns around and charges up the sideline at Paul. 

I even had Bert do the JB with me during the playoff games we attended at the same time as Paul and Pargo. That's what I'll miss most about Mucho, or as Lopes and I called him during the playoffs: Poco.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom was having problems with the remote Friday. "My remote won't work. Fuck. I can't hit pause or stop it. What the fuck is going on? Ain't nothing working."

Mom had a good deal to say about the weather Friday. "I'm worried about that fucking tree across the street. I don't trust it with my car parked out there. Same with that one in the yard behind us. That roof of that little shed or whatever the fuck it is is about to come off." ... "The squirrels are going crazy. They don't have a clue what the fuck is going on." Water came into the dining room again during Ike. "I just can't catch a fucking break. It went behind the fucking book case. I just can't catch a fucking break."

Mom didn't agree with canceling school across the area Friday. "Fuck. What is that? Just fucking wind. Pretty soon they're going to have dick day. All the little boys stay home and play with their little dicks. (I tell her that Friday is the first big prep night.) They might cancel those games (they did). They canceled school for dick day. All those boys stayed home and played with their dicks."

THE GENE POOL DIP (I MEAN TIP) OF THE WEEK

When the gas prices were rising (and I read or heard the phrase "the rising cost of fuel" 14 times a day), I read an article about hypermiling. It was about techniques you can do to make the gas in your tank last longer. The thought of doing these things, or that they could even be done, had never entered my mind. I knew the basics: roll down a window instead of always using the A/C, keep the tires balanced and filled, etc. But this other stuff was blowing me away.

So, if you want to save a little green on gas, follow these three tips. I used to get about 335 miles to the tank. Now, I'm getting 365-370. One: When possible, keep the car going at the same speed. I guess that's one of the reasons cruise control was invented. 

Two: Don't go past 2,000 RPM. Before reading the article, I never paid one iota of attention to my RPM. There was no need to care about it. Now, I'm constantly focused on the RPM needle. Keeping the RPM under 2,000 helps save big time on fuel. Sure, I get some crazy looks from drivers because it's hard to go from 0 to 50 without going past 2,000 RPM. I've gotten used to it, though. Also, when on the Interstate, I think the best speed for fuel saving is 55 mph. Once you get to like 62 mph, the RPM goes past 2,000. When I drove to Baton Rouge in July, I put the cruise control at 59. A lot of people were flying by me, but the gas needle hardly moved. 

Three: As much as possible, avoid coming to complete stops. Time out the red lights on your drive. Roll through stop signs. Also, don't wait in fast food lines or let the car run on idle for a lengthy period. 

I do have a fourth tip to save gas money: Don't drive. If you aren't driving, you aren't losing gas. Much like abstinence is the best bet to prevent pregnancy. If you aren't having sex, you aren't getting pregnant.

PARTING SHOTS

A conversation between two people. No names on this one. Hey, I've said some stupid things and didn't know some obvious things. And I've heard about it. So, it's good to know it happens to others.

Person 1: The Saints game will be in Landover, Md.

Person 2: Really? Why? The Redskins are in Washington State right?

Person 1: D.C.

Person 2: They are? Weird. I had no idea. Have they always been in D.C.?

Person 1: Yep.

Terry comes over looking for Marcus, who had left.

Terry: I told that big goofy motherfucker (something something).

JRap: So, he's a big goofy motherfucker when he's not here?

Terry: No. He's a big goofy motherfucker. And I'll tell him to his face.

Me: Can I quote you on that?

Terry: Yeah. (A minute later he calls Marcus.) Tomorrow, I'm coming in, and I'm fucking your ass up.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five NFL players not to play for the Saints or Dolphins. All these players have played or played for one team.

5) Brian Urlacher. Bears.

A ferocious defender. How could you not like the way he plays the game?

Memorable moment: He stripped Edge of the ball, which led to a Bears touchdown in that comeback game on Monday Night Football. The Cardinals thought Urlacher was a beast. He was a beast.

4) Ed Reed. Ravens.

Has a knack for getting the ball and finding the end zone from his safety position. Much like me in my day.

Memorable moment: Watching Reed, then 12, dunk a basketball during warmups of an All-Star game. I was 6 and my friend's brother was on the team.

3) Hines Ward. Steelers.

A tough-as-nails receiver. Why haven't other teams figured out that when the Steelers are near the end zone, Ward runs a post pattern to the back of the end zone? The result is usually a touchdown.

Memorable moment: His touchdown catch on that trick play in Super Bowl XL from Randel El.

2) Donovan McNabb. Eagles.

Quarterback gets way too much criticism. Me thinks if he didn't have all those injuries, he'd have a shot at the Hall of Fame.

Memorable moment: A mad scramble where he went back and forth across the field against the Cowboys on Monday Night in 2004 and then completed a 60-yard pass to Fed-Ex.

1) Barry Sanders. Lions.

The greatest running back in my lifetime. He could turn a negative play into a 70-yard touchdown.

Memorable moment: The whole game on Thanksgiving in 1997 against Chicago. He had 19 carries for 167 yards and three touchdowns. That's a game I'll tell my kids about. Well, a game I would tell my kids about.