YA'LL JUST WAIT 'TIL NEXT YEAR
After the recent skid (losing six of seven), it might be safe to declare the Cubs' season over. I'm never one to completely abandon ship, but I ain't holding my breath.
Instead, I decided to do a statistical breakdown based on Derry saying they had no chance because they can't beat good teams this year. Let's look at some numbers.
Cubs record vs. winning teams through May: 10-11.
Cubs record vs. losing teams through May: 15-13.
Cubs record vs. winning teams since May: 9-22.
Cubs record vs. losing teams since May: 24-9.
Within the division, the Cubs have a winning record against every team but one. Guess which team that is? Yeah, the only winning team in the group: the Cardinals.
We've proven that the Cubs are the definition of mediocrity here. The good news lies in the breakdown of remaining games.
Games against winning teams left: 12.
Games against losing teams left: 37.
If the percentages of their record (vs. losing and winning teams) since May keep up, the Cubs will finish with a record of 89-73. (Also keep in mind that this would be the Cubs first streak of three winning seasons in a row since 1972.)
Wait, maybe it ain't over quite yet.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
Mom and I watched Wednesday night's edition of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" A contestant didn't know what coin was the thickest, guessing a quarter. "It's fucking change!"
Mom sees that Lauren Conrad has written a book with another one on the way. "Everybody's got a fucking book. Why can't I write a fucking book? I can write one about how shit life has been."
EAT FRESH AND OFTEN
On my 8.5-mile drive to work, I pass four Subways. Four. I think that's two too many. In comparison, I pass two McDonald's and that's the only other place that doubles up.
PARTING SHOT
I read that Sean Payton is looking for a new house. Me: Tell him to move to my street.
Liam: Why? So you can run into his parked car?
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