HOTTEST TICKET IN TOWN

With the Iowa Cubs rolling through town, Derry and I decided to check out the ol' Triple-A team at Zephyr Field on Tuesday afternoon. And we were basically the entire attendance.

Because of my stupidity, I was unable to use my secret weapon to get into the game for free. So, I bought a ticket.

Ticket person: Where would you like to sit, sir?
Me: Upper bowl, please.

Did I sit in the upper bowl? Uh, no. But that ticket was $8, instead of $10 for the better seats down below. If I were the Zephyrs, I wouldn't sell upper-bowl seating to these lowly-attended contests. That's bad business. Of course, so is pissing people off by charging $5 to park for a minor league baseball game.

Half an hour after I sat down, my dad also showed up in section 117 of the lower bowl. He had just bought a ticket in the upper bowl. I look at it. It is the seat right next to mine.

We tried to sneak into the T-P suite later, but the door was locked. Nothing exciting happened in the game, other than when I had sunflower seeds and tried to spit the shells into various cup holders.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

There's something wrong in the kitchen, not sure what it is, though. My mom: "Oh my god. What the fuck? It's backed up. Can't go a fucking day without something going wrong."

We had to report an error on our He's Just Not That Into You disc because it refuses to play. Mom is upset. "I get excited about one fucking movie, and it doesn't even fucking play."

ON THIS DATE IN GENE POOL HISTORY

2008: I introduced The Gene Pool wrestling character to the world. The future champ's finishing move is called Off the Deep End. It was also the debut of the Did You Know? segment.

I DIDN'T KNOW

At dinner Tuesday night, we learned that I didn't know what Neapolitan meant? I see Jelly eating a chocolate ice cream sandwich.

Me: Oooo. Chocolate ice cream sandwich. You usually see vanilla.
Jelly: It's Neapolitan.
Me: So, that whole thing was chocolate?
Jelly: Didn't you hear me? I said it's Neapolitan.
Me: I ignored that word. Don't know what it means.

She then explained what the word means.

Me: So, is that only for ice cream or does it apply to other groups of three? Can Garnett, Pierce and Allen be called the Boston Neapolitans?
Jelly: Uh, no.