LOOKIE AT WHAT WE FOUND

Bert, Kelly, Paul, Jacob and I competed in a scavenger hunt hosted by the Palace on Friday night. We (and by we, I mean everyone but Paul, our captain) were excited about participating because it was free for us. Paul told us there was a team fee of $10, but he was paying for it.

We learned much differently at the start of the competition. It was $10 per team member. Paul ain't so good at the reading and comprehending. Don't worry. I'm signing him up at that Derek Zoolander school next semester.

The scavenger hunt commenced at 7 p.m. It ended at 1 a.m. (and really 3 a.m. if you count the two hours to calculate the scores outside in the back of the Palace.)

In the middle of the event (10:45 p.m.), we had to meet the organizers on the steps at the Jackson Ampitheatre for more instructions. Basically, there were about 1,000 things to take pictures of throughout the city (besides the movie, Metairie, French Quarter and Family Guy trivia), but with only a limited amount of time, we had to pick and choose what we did.

The highlights:

-- Kelly convinced three Wal-Mart workers to pose as Charlie's Angels. She did this by telling them the scavenger hunt was in conjunction with the Ronald McDonald House.
-- The word cock was written on my face. After the festivities, Bert said: "Gene, don't forget to wipe that cock off your face."
-- Kelly, Jacob and Paul recreated (well, sort of) the Beat It dance at Jackson Square.
-- We walked down Bourbon Street answering trivia questions and taking pictures of things like big boobs and strip club signs.
-- Jacob and Paul did something freaky with a dildo at Mr. Binky's in Elmwood.
-- My personal favorite moment: Paul and I chasing three ducks at Lafreniere.

-- And, last but certainly not least, we kidnapped a kid in the Wal-Mart. It's OK. We gave him back. But yeah, some random 6-year-old came with us around the store taking pictures before trying to find his parents when we left. Weird stuff.

We came in fourth place out of eight teams. Mediocre! Second place had 253 points, third had 245 and we had 238. Fifth place was less than 200. So, we were close to getting our money back for second place.

Too bad in-fighting wasn't part of the rules. We so would have won that portion.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

After I returned from the scavenger hunt at 3:30 a.m., I watched the Saints preseason game until I fell asleep. My mom walks in during the first quarter. "You watching this bullshit?"

I tell mom about the setup for the scavenger hunt and going all over town. "That ain't no scavenger hunt. That's bullshit."

After a storm Saturday morning, the sun came out. "Fucking sun."

PARTING SHOTS
We run a photo in the paper of some girls playing a football game. (The New Orleans Blaze won something called the International Bowl. Woohoo!).

Liam: Chicks dig the the long ball.
Bake: Chicks did the pigskin. Pig and a poke.

We find out that hairpulling is allowed when tackling in this women's league.

Liam: I'd have short hair.
Bake: Then they'd tackle you by the short-hairs.