WHAT'S MY AGE AGAIN?
Every year as my birthday nears, my mother takes to referring to me as a year older than I am. This never bothered me as much as it did the other day.
Tina: "You are 30-years-old. You can clean up all these papers."
No. I am still in my 20s. Can't I enjoy my youth for another two months?
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom read in the paper about an employee stealing. She is pissed. "How the fuck they get the job in the first place? It was for a church fund. How do these fucking people get a job in the first place? Stole $150,000. I can't get a job, and these fucking people are stealing."
Mom called the test that she failed at Winn Dixie "bullshit."
I was so busy this past week I forgot to take out the garbage Tuesday. Mom was upset. "You could at least take out the fucking garbage."
Mom got me to watch Fracture. It was good. Before we watched it, this happened. Me: Ryan Gosling is in it. Mom: Yeah. Me: He's cute. Mom: Not just cute. Fucking hot.
Mom wants the new Sons of Anarchy DVD, but it's too much. "Fucking disc is so fucking expensive. It's only 13 fucking episodes. Who buys that?"
HER NAME WAS LOLA
As I got out of bed the other day, I looked back to notice the sheets were left in an interesting formation.
It looks like I had some company the night before, but only in my dreams. That is not a young lady. Or is it?
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