I'M NOW READY TO PARTY

THE JEFFERSON SCREW JOB

My basketball rec team earned the No. 4 seed for the playoffs, but due to a major fuckup with keeping track of the results, the No. 5 seed ended up being the best or second best team. 

The lady that runs the league marked a victory each for two teams that played each other on the last week. You get that? Both teams won. Also, two teams playing each other were both credited with losses. 

And so there was a cluster fuck. Then she made it worse. She explained that there was some crazy four-way tie and because of the tiebreakers she used, we ended up with this matchup. But one of her results used to break the tie had us defeating this team that we lost to. Ugh. 

Instead of playing an inferior team in the first round, we got the team with five 6 foot 5 or taller black guys. I'm not saying we would have won the league, but we would have at least won the first round, giving us at least another week of basketball. 

Now, I have to wait until February to play again. Actually, we were winning the whole game. They took their first lead with 4 minutes left. And without two really stupid turnovers late, we would have had a shot. We lost by four. 

In other frustrating news, Verizon turned my cell phone account over to a collection agency. I don't even want to write about it. 

And this happened when Rachel tried to share her cake with me at work Friday. 

Part of the cake didn't touch the floor, so I cut that off the top and ate some of it. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom looks over an application for a job. "You got to fucking have a college education to work in a retail fucking store."

I'm watching an old Breaking Bad episode. "Is this the one with the fucking fly."

Speaking of the show, Kelly ordered me this shirt. 

ONLY IN DREAMS

1. I was so excited to eat shrimp Friday that Thursday night, I dreamed that it was late Friday night and I realized that I had completely forgotten to eat that day. (In reality, I ate a shrimp Poboy on Friday afternoon.)

2. I dreamed I was in college and in danger of failing the semester because I stopped going to one class after the first week and never bothered to do any of the assignments. 

The course? Garfield. 

That's right. I was flunking a class on studying the Garfield television show. Apparently, I didn't bring lots of spaghetti. 

The professor told me that if I watched every episode in the next two weeks and aced a test on it, then I wouldn't fail.  Unfortunately, I awoke as I started watching the first episode.