If you're wondering why there is more than a week gap between posts, it's because I've actually been busy. I'm in the middle of 11 days in a row at work.
Heck, I'm typing this half-asleep. So just how busy was I last week? Let's see.
I was so busy I didn't turn on my TV on Wendesay or Thursday. Not even for a second.
How busy was I? I was so busy that my recycling bin sat empty at the curb from Wednesday morning until Saturday afternoon. I didn't have time to bring it back into the house.
How busy was I? I cut half the grass in the back Wednesday. Then stopped because I was out of time. I cut the other half Sunday.
How busy was I? I only watched the second episode of Breaking Bad once. Yeah, once.
My last off day was the previous Sunday, which was an epic day that included a fantasy draft, Summerslam and Breaking Bad.
At the fantasy draft, I caused a stir by being one minute late. Yeah, one minute. I would have been nine minutes early, but I stopped at the ATM so I could pay the league dues.
Four people, however, showed up with no money. Count the three skypers, and half the league hasn't pay to enter yet.
Plus, Joe kept outbidding me for my desired players. It's not bad enough he stole my championship last year?
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom has been trying to find a job for a year now with no success. The latest failure came at Winn-Dixie. "It took me 2 1/2 fucking hours to fill it out. What a waste of time. It's fucking ridiculous. They make it sound like they gonna pay you $600,000 with that application. What are they going to give you? Eight dollars an hour? And they're like here fill out this motherfucker."
Mom tried to apply at a new restaurant going up at the end of Suave. The sign says apply today. "There wasn't anybody there. The radio was playing. I could have stole the whole fucking place. Workers must have went to lunch and left the place open. I could have ripped the fucking place off. Creepy."
Mom read about the incident with LeBron and Miami's finest. "He fucking got the police in trouble because be couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut."
I say Breaking Bad is moving quicker than I expected. "They can't put any bullshit in. They only have eight fucking episodes."
THE SOLUTION IS SIMPLE
The escalator was broken at work Monday for the 217th time in the past five years. But I think I know what's wrong this particular time.
And I thought I had a couple of screws loose.
HEROES IN A HALF SHELL
A couple weeks ago, I saw a turtle crossing the road and took a picture of it for the blog.
It happened again Monday. I saw a turtle crossing River Road.
Are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles forming in real life before my very eyes? And are they looking for sewer drains as they cross the road?
If I see two more soon and a giant rat, the criminal underworld of the city is in serious trouble. I will let y'all know.
No comments:
Post a Comment