The Celtics have the Lakers. The Tar Heels have the Blue Devils. Len Bias had cocaine.
And Muscled and Owned, my rec basketball team, has Boats and Hoes.
Rivalries just make sports more fun. I plan my spring around UNC and Duke games. Falcons vs. Saints or Jets vs. Dolphins are special weeks.
So I can't be more excited to be part of Jefferson Parish's No. 1 rec basketball rivalry. I always circle the date on my schedule as soon as Bert emails the link at the start of each campaign.
This season's game came Tuesday. When work asked me last week to come in for an overtime shift, I said no way, Jose. Not on Boats and Hoes night.
Like Muscled and Owned, Boats and Hoes doesn't have any amazing players or a series of super tall athletes. Just a bunch of solid players who play well together, with bounce passes and the such. So most of the games are nail- biters.
Here's some quick background on the history of this heated contest:
Summer 2011: We rallied from down seven in the final minutes to win by 2. I hit a go-ahead 3-pointer with 27 seconds left. Kelly yells Meatball from the stands the entire game.
Boats and Hoes have fun nicknames on their jerseys like Da Future and A Train, but Meatball is the name we associate most with those pesky Boats and Hoes.
Spring 2012: We won by 17 with a huge surge in the third, nearly killing the rivalry at the beginning.
Summer 2012: They out hustled us on loose balls and turned a fourth-quarter tie into a nine-point win.
Summer 2012 playoffs: This is where the rivalry reached Hornets-Spurs levels. They were the No. 2 seed; we were seventh.
In a back-and-forth classic, we trailed by one late when I missed a layup after a highlight reel give and go between David and me. Still, we led by five with a minute to play. That's when we missed another layup and two key 1-and-1free throws.
They tied the score in the final seconds and crushed us in overtime. We later found out that Boats and Hoes, now cemented as our arch nemesis, had won the whole damn league. Well, fuck we just had them beat in the playoffs.
Spring 2013: We trailed by two with 57 seconds to go when one of our better players got an open look for 3. He missed, and they made foul shots to put the game away. I was devastated.
The Internet blogs dedicated to our league (OK, I made that up) wondered if it was still a rivalry with Boats winning so many in a row. Which brings us to the summer of 2013 on Tuesday. (Yeah, I know it wasn't a very quick background.)
Summer 2013: We trailed the whole first half but took control in the second half. I actually had my best game of the rivalry, including 14 points, plus a key steal to set up a David 3 in the corner in the fourth quarter.
We led by 13 in the fourth, but the Hoes came storming back thanks to some lazy defense and a bad pass by me.
In the end, our losing streak ended when we secured a late rebound and made two foul shots for an historic 56-53 victory.
Who knows what's next for this rivalry. I know I just can't wait to play them again. Maybe there's a playoff game coming in a few weeks.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom has a few thoughts on the Zimmerman verdict. "They fucking ridiculed the main witness because she's not very intelligent."
-- "The prosecution said it wasn't about race. Bullshit."
-- I say Zimmerman probably needs a bodyguard. "No shit."
Mom and I both don't understand why movie and TV characters always pour a shot of liquor into a glass, drink it and then pour another small shot. "Yeah, why don't they just drink out the fucking bottle?"
We're at Kelly's house, and mom scolds Kelly for having a cord on the floor. "You're just like Gene with this shit. Somebody's gonna trip on it." (Tina picked it up and put it on a table.)
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