STREET SENSE

I WAS OFF SUNDAYS THE PAST 6 MONTHS

I was the first to arrive at work Sunday. Just me and a big old empty building. 

I sort of felt like a kid on Christmas morning because we were starting daily publication again. So no gifts and I was at work but a Christmas spirit nonetheless. 

The publication is called TP Street. Yes, it sounds a little like Sesame Street. I told that to the editor and publisher and then sang the theme to Sesame Street in a meeting two months ago. 

They laughed. Sort of. I think my coworkers did a collective smacking their palms against their forearms in embarrassment. But oh well. Just trying to liven things up. 

Anyway, I'm excited to make a daily newspaper again. And it should be snazzy. 

Of course, I didn't start working right away when I got in Sunday. Instead, I typed this. OK, time to open the presents. First up, page 47. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom reads the story of a Harahan man getting arrested for selling a drug called a Molly just across the way from her house. "What he thought no one saw him? If I was living next to him, I would have told him to get off the fucking street." 

She notes that the drug dealer is so and so the IV. "On Sex and the City they say the higher the number, the smaller the dick."

Mom says it was too hot Sunday. "It's a fucking sauna."

Mom says you need five years experience to get a job. Me: Where? Her: "Every fucking where."

Mom says she should have been a hairdresser. "If I could do it over again, I would. They make more fucking money than you."

Mom read Jose Baez's book. "He went broke defending Casey. So he hired a bunch of interns and they sat there and looked up information on the whole fucking jury."

Finally, mom saw Dirty Little Secret, a Lifetime original movie about Jody Arias on Saturday night. "I don't understand why he didn't punch the fuck out of her after the first stabbing. He kind of just let her keep stabbing. He should have knocked her the fuck out. He's 240 fucking pounds. She's little. But no, she stabbed him 20 fucking times."

Arias is still awaiting sentencing. "They ought to just give her fucking life."

PARTING SHOT

I used to have a quote of the day in the old days. Hopefully, this is the first in many new parting shots. 

Someone at work notes that many Pittsburgh teams have nicknames that start with a P. Penguins, Pirates, Power (AFL). 

David Jack: What's their WNBA team called?

Liam: Pussy.