As Joe and I await boarding for our plane ride back to Nawlins, I thought I'd tell you about all the stuff that was noteworthy on my vacation that didn't make it into a previous post.
Excited? You should be.
S-O-D-A SODA
Pepsi is everywhere in the Midwest. Normally at home, I just ask for a Coke, but here I trained myself to say Pepsi please.
My travels were more noteworthy for the places that carried Coke: Jimmy Johns, the Oven Grinder and parties -- the wedding and this extravaganza the Field Museum was setting up for when they kicked us out.
BEST QUOTES
"Going to Belize for fun is not being boring." -- some rich white girl to her friends as she passed us on the street.
"Four and three quarters." -- little boy to TSA agent when asked his age.
"It's life-changing because I don't have to plan a wedding anymore." -- Katie when Joe asked if she felt any different now that she was married.
"There was this guy named Chris Farley. He made a movie called Beverly Hills Ninja." -- Young college student to his friend at the Willis Tower as they discussed comedy.
"I want all the credit cards!" -- drunk fan at Tuesday's game. It was his birthday, his friends cut him off, but he wanted more booze.
LIVING QUARTERS
Joe and I stayed in a hostel, a block away from Wrigley Field. I didn't like sharing a bathroom and shower with a whole floor, but whatever. Look at our digs.
Joe couldn't believe that no other Cubs fans where staying here. I couldn't believe they only gave us one towel each for four days. Plus, I was ill for the four days, and bathroom visits were frequent.
I heard four languages spoken in the hostel -- German, French and what I guess was Chinese. It was like living in a United Nations dormitory.
Also, it seemed like every time I opened my door, there was a different person living in the hallway. The dude would be sitting against the wall chilling next to his suitcase, with his phone plugged into the wall next to the kitchen sink.
Next day, different person. Same thing. Weird.
I LOVE CHOCOLATE
After pizza Wednesday night, we went down the street to Molly's cupcakes on Nicole's recommendation. At $4 a pop, they probably should be better. I got the chocolate decadence.
Chocolate cream oozed out of the cake when I lifted it. Needed a fork to finish. Wanted a second cupcake, but I didn't want to feel like a fatty.
After cupcakes, we stumbled into trivia night at some college bar. I ordered a Blue Moon, and some hot Blue Moon chicks happened to be working the room. They gave us Blue Moon bottle openers. With only a two-man team, we didn't fare well at trivia.
Our most impressive correct answer was name three of the four countries that are less than 100,000 square miles and border the Persian Gulf. Obviously, Kuwait -- you know, from the Gulf War. Joe added Qatar -- home of the 2022 World Cup -- and I got UAE, where Abu Dhabi is the capital.
TIE ONE ON
Nicole got me a tie for the wedding to represent the homeland. It was purple with a bunch of little Louisianas, interspersed with pelicans and magnolias. It got several compliments.
ROYALTY CHECK COMING
At a bar last Thursday in Champaign, Lindsay tells me that her boyfriend makes video game T-shirts to sell at conventions. I gave her this idea for a shirt: My Call of Duty is to play Call of Duty.
GET THIS SHIT
In one of those watershed realizations moments, Joe explained to me -- while we were eating pizza, of course -- that the Interstate system is numbered on purpose.
Evens -- like I-10 -- go east-west and odds go north-south. And even crazier: the I-10 is 10 because it's so far South. It goes higher the farther up you go.
My mind was blown.
LEFTOVER PHOTOS
The Chicago River, where Joe and I took a romantic boat tour in 2010.
The Bogner family pool.
A leopard killed in Africa in 1896.
DePaul University. That soccer field was being constructed when we visited in 2010.
Our hostel on North Sheffield.
And that's it from Chicago. I'll miss the pretty women -- so many more people in Chicago and thus more pretty ladies -- and the tights they all seem to wear, the pizza, Wrigley Field and the endless Cubs merchandise that's on sale at every corner.
But most of all, I'll miss you, Chicago. Your homeless might give speeches when they beg, but I love you anyway.
See you in 2018.
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