My mother had another good day Wednesday. Thursday was a disaster, but let's focus on the good day.
Last week, she gave a list of three things she wanted before she died. I already got her the chocolate, and Wednesday I took her to Deanie's for barbecue shrimp. Just the filet to go.
She got the barbecue plate. She ate the whole salad, the whole bread and all 12 shrimp. Then she said "How about dessert?"
We got the gold brick. It had three gold bricks filled with ice cream with a brownie underneath. Yum.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
Mom isn't sure what to do with herself a lot of the time these days. "What am I gonna do? I'm fucking dying."
Most of her conversation is dominated by pain. "I can feel the tumors crawling on my fucking neck." At first she called the moving tumors creepy crawlers. The other day she changed the name to "fuckers."
Mom thinks God is out to get her. "He's gonna make me feel every fucking pain. He wants me to feel every little fucking thing."
On the drive to Deanie's, she discussed her medical bills. "Fucking insurance companies. They don't give a fuck."
We passed a jewelry store.
Me: Look, he went to Jared.
Mom: And he got fucked.
From Friday:
On the weather: "It's so fucking hot."
On elections: "They got their fucking posters all over the place."
On not finding her favorite ice cream at several stores: "I'm tired of this bullshit."
SOME THOUGHTS
I would like to take this space to thank everyone who has helped or offered encouragement during this time. Your support means a lot.
I wish I would have known about Death with Dignity before this week, like six months ago. I also wish mom hadn't read about it yesterday.
I have tried to put mom's key into my front door and vice versa about 10 times in the past three weeks.
On an unrelated note, read the lyrics to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night" and think about the current sex scandal. Eerie.
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