FAKE PAPER. REAL PAPER. MORE PAPER.

I was told to show up for work by 10:15 a.m. on Tuesday. Considering I normally wake up around noon, that's tough for me. I set my alarm for 9:15 and woke up. But then I dozed off, and when I came to again, it was 10:03. I showed up for a meeting at 10:32, so only 17 minutes late.

We then went about the process of making a fake newspaper in preparation for the new system in October. I call it a fake paper, but it's really a practice to make sure we know what we're doing. They called it a Dry Run. Damn, I usually have at least two shots per shift.

After the Dry Run, we had a meeting to discuss what went right, what we wrong. After the meeting, somebody called in sick, and before you knew it, I was working a night shift, making a real newspaper.

That shift ended at midnight. I had a thirty-minute dinner break. I clocked in a total of 13 hours. Did I mention Tuesday is an off day for me?

When we left the building, JRap decided to hit golf balls on the lawn. I went about 30 yards away and caught them out of the air. Now, that's how you wind down after a rough day. That and alcohol.


THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is mad because Wal-Mart hasn't had the water she likes the past few times she's shopped. "Every time you find something you like. They say, 'Fuck you. We ain't selling it no more.' "

Mom mostly liked the series finale of Weeds. She didn't like the time jump. "They moved eight fucking years ahead."

SAINTS ARE DONE 

1. The 2012 Saints are like the 2009 Bizarro Saints. The Super Bowl team allowed the other team to score first like almost every game. And then bam, they would dominate. It got to the point where I would cheer for the other team to score first.

This team has been doing the opposite. They scored the first touchdown in each of their losses and then got the shit beat out of them. I mean literally. I got a shit covered squirrel. Don't know what to name it.

2. I don't see the 2009 Bizarro Saints making the playoffs. Even if they played like the actual 2009 Saints. They are 0-2, and I'm chalking up losses to San Fran, Green Bay and at Atlanta. That makes 0-5.

So to make the playoffs at 10-6, they have to go 10-1. Yikes. Just don't see that happening. Assuming they win this week to go 1-2, the next six games are at Green Bay, vs. San Diego, at Tampa Bay, at Denver, vs. Philadelphia, vs. Atlanta. Brutal.

They only way I can see talking myself into a playoff possibility is if you take the mentality that they win the rest of their home games. That makes them 7-2 just on going 7-0 the rest of the way at home. Add in losses at Green Bay and at Atlanta for 7-4, and they only have to go 3-2 in road games vs. Tampa, Denver, Oakland, Atlanta, Giants and Dallas. Doable, I guess.

3. Meanwhile, my boy Meachem has two catches for the Chargers. Maybe they'll just give him back.

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN

Great song, but when it came on the radio the other day, I decided to change the lyrics.

When a man loves a woman
Better make sure she loves him back (Can't keep his mind on nothing else)
Otherwise, they (He'll trade the world)
Arrest him up for rape (For the good thing he's found)