PAUL WAS NEVER A LADIES MAN
It has six celebrities per episode and two contestants. Two teams of four play five games and then there's a bonus round for the winning contestant. Some of the games aren't great, but there's quite a few that I love.
So much so that I stopped at Wal-Mart two weeks ago and bought the home game for a game night June 3.
I had Paul, Joe and Greg on my team, and we got ransacked by Sarah (probably the MVP), Dave, Bert, Kelly and Jenna. Exactly. They cheated with their extra player!
The most difficult game and the one that produced the most laughs is called Do-Do-Do. One player must hum a song only using the word Do, and his teammates must guess the song. It's pretty hard, and I was particularly awful.
I didn't come close to getting my team to name the song I was Do-Doing. And I never once knew what song other people were do-ing.
Our team was a comedy of errors. In Take the Hint, we missed several makeable points. The word was basketball, and Paul's hint to Greg was ball. Cue the buzzer. The clue words to Joe were summer, sports, rings. And Joe couldn't get Olympics.
Another highlight was me charading movie titles to my team. We eventually got them but wasted far too much time. It was pretty funny to watch I'm sure.
Yet somehow we had a chance to catch up in the final round, which is one player tries to get his team to name as many celebrities as possible in 90 seconds.
Paul was the cluegiver. We needed 10 to win. We got eight. We got stuck on Tim Meadows as Paul only could muster that he was on SNL a while ago and he's black.
If only he had suggested that I put it in the butt.
WALKING ON THE RIVER
Nicole and I went to the Riverwalk this past Tuesday. It is OK, but I'm not sure enough of the stores will do well enough to survive. We counted 11 places in the new mall to have dessert. Eleven.
At Neiman Marcus, I bought a lavender shirt. This pic came out light. The shirt is darker.
FIXING THE WORLD CUP
Been watching a lot of the World Cup. I think the worst rule in all of sports is the soccer penalty kick.
OK, there's plenty of worse rules. If you accidentally write one wrong number down on your golf card, you are disqualified. But the penalty kick needs to be revised.
Many times, the person fouled isn't even about to score, and yet his team gets a kick with no defense from only 12 yards away. Bullshit. How about degrees of fouls in the box, kind of like with murder.
So, first-degree murder is the penalty kick we have now. That's when the person is definitely going to score and the defender commits a foul. A death sentence for the defense.
Manslaughter is a tackle in the box when there's still 3 other defenders to beat and it's obvious that the foul didn't by itself prevent a goal. That gives you a free kick from outside the box with the defense in the way. Like parole.
And in between those two, the player gets a penalty kick from farther away, say the top of the box, which is six more yards than it is now. That would give the goalkeeper a chance.
Don't even get me started on penalty kicks after extra time to break a tie and decide a winner. That's even worse. Just keep playing until there's a winner.
Soccer, you're welcome.
LET'S MAKE A DEAL
Had an idea for a comedy skit show or a storyline in a comedy.
One character becomes obsessed in the episode with bartering, just refuses to pay full price anymore. Think George Costanza.
So he goes to a restaurant and tells the waiter "How bout I give you 20 bucks for this 35 dollar steak?" When the waiter says no, he explains that, "Look. Either you take my 20 bucks or you get nothing."
And the character takes that attitude to the clothing store, sporting events, etc.
Imagine in the episode that it starts to work before the character eventually takes it too far and somehow feels the wrath.
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