I haven't updated this thang in three months, and there's a couple of reasons. March, April and the first day of May was the craziest time of my life. And then it took most of April and May for me to get up the nerve to write all this down.
I've had big moments happen to me in life, sure. But not four of the biggest moments of my life all at the same time.
Before I get to the top five moments of this time, a quick list of stuff that didn't make it: How I Met Your Mother finale (still pissed); Steve Miller concert (was at the Saenger, where I also saw my first concert in 1998, which was ... Steve Miller); Orpheus (I bumped it with Liam McPoyle. Hopefully, someone reading this knows how cool that is.)
OK, now to do the deal. I'm sure I forgot a few details, but, hey, watcha gonna do? Brace yourself.
5. Paul's bachelor party
Paul and I drove to Biloxi on Friday, March 7. We were eventually joined by Bert, Rittiner, Jacob, Minkus, Joe, Greg and Jaubert.
Highlights included a poker tournament (Paul and Rittiner just missed cashing); Saturday dinner at the Half Shell (everybody cleaned their plate except Greg; I had a steak with crab meat); a lunch with a beach view (some hot Asian chick bought us fireball shots); and Paul fucking a stripper (just kidding, Leigh).
We did hit a strip club -- in fact, Biloxi's only strip club -- on Friday night.
And this was supposed to stay in Biloxi, but since it's been discussed by so many in public, I will just say that yes, I got a stripper's number. And yes there were messages exchanged. But no, nothing happened. Unless you count all the money we spent on Bubbles and co. with their boss --- aka The Vulture -- hovering around us.
That place was a site to behold. Truly. They had Mardi Gras table cloth that looked like it belonged at a 5-year-old's birthday party. There was no one else in there. Boob showing and hard liquor were not allowed.
We left at 5 a.m.
4. Nicole.
Yup, I have a girlfriend. This happened in the middle of this crazy time period. And the next three events are so big, she only comes in fourth. Usually, she ...
I've always had a no-relationship-discussing policy here. So that's all you get. Just know that it's going well.
3. Paul's wedding.
My best friend's wedding losing out to WrestleMania was a tough choice. But that's the way the editors voted.
Paul and Leigh tied the knot on March 15 in a wonderful ceremony at St. Rita, where I've gone to church all my life.
Oh, let's talk rebearsal dinner at Sammy's Tuxedo -- I can't pronounce the actual name of the joint. I gave a memorable best man's speech. Did u expect anything else?
I started by quoting four best man speeches from shows Paul and I have enjoyed over the years. I brought my IPod to play the theme songs, but it malfunctioned after the first two. The shows were: Sherlock, The Office, King of Queens and Boy Meets World (duh). I changed the names mentioned in those speeches to Paul and Leigh. Sweet right?
So I wished them a special day; read the definition of welding instead of wedding; made a pizza joke; and confessed I was losing my best friend to the bride.
That was just the opening of the speech. I then told three stories with a theme: Paul loses my textbook in eighth grade; Paul and I get lost in New Orleans senior year; Paul and I get lost evacuating from that bitch Katrina. Then I said that Paul has always been lost. But that with Leigh, he is found. Awww.
So back to the wedding ceremony, where I stole a pack of Starburst from the altar's boy stash in the back of church. You could say that I'm no choir boy. Ha.
Before the wedding all the dudes met at my house to get changed and eat Cane's. We were then picked up by a trolley.
At the church, we took some pictures. Paul and I threw out a wrestling symbol. Believe that.
The reception was off the hook. I mean, there was a freakin popcorn station with like six kinds of toppings and also candy accessories.
Our group ripped up the dance floor, and we went hard for like two hours. Lots of energy, especially Jacob and Minkus. Of course, I did the worm. An epic worm indeed.
I had to chug some whiskey when Journey hit, but that's cool. I an even did an extended Chris Jericho -- one of our favorite wrestlers -- pose before going into the worm. The Gene worm, coming to a wedding near you. I've done it at five weddings, though it feels like more.
Paul danced to "In My Life" with his mother, which is the song I've always wanted to use with Tina if I ever got married. So knowing that may never happen, I took my mom to the edge of the dance floor and danced with her.
2. WrestleMania.
As you may know, I'm a big wrestling fan and a fairly good writer. So when WrestleMania came to New Orleans on April 6, I volunteered to cover it for da paper and da web site.
And boy did I.
I published 57 wrestling articles in 2014, plus 11 in 2013. So 29 of them were recapping the first 29 Manias, but I guarantee it's the best damn recap series ever written on the event.
I watched every one from December to March and wrote quite a bit about each one. I did seperate interviews for a portion called "in retrospect," where I also quoted books I've read and podcasts I've listened to.
I wrote 28 original articles in 2014 that I worked my tail off to produce. So what if I was paid zero dollars. My best stories were on Hulk Hogan, Daniel Bryan, New Orleans wrestling history and my Taker-Lesnar match preview.
I did all these interviews on the phone and wrote all the articles before the week of the event because the week of Mania was absolutely bananas.
Wednesday: I covered a charity basketball game at Tulane. Joe joined me in the stands. The score was 6-5. I recorded videos and wrote a full story.
Thursday: I went to the Convention Center and enjoyed the fan event. Then Paul and I went to Jim Ross' one man show at The House of Blues.
Paul and I ate at Bud's and I told him about the No. 1 on the list. I got home at 2 a.m.
Friday: I woke up at 5 a.m. Yeah, 5 a.m. Media day at the convention center started at 6 a.m. I did a bunch of interviews including an on-camera interview with Daniel Bryan, my favorite and the best wrestler in the world.
He's my height. We talked about food, his wedding and his plans for winning the title at Mania. It's four minutes, and I think I came off pretty well.
There was a signing Paul and I went to, then the hospital and later another fan event at the convention center. I got home at 11 p.m.
Saturday: I wrote a quick article from media day and then went to the hall of fame ceremony. That was cool. I wrote a review until 2 a.m. that night. By Sunday afternoon, it had 35,000 page views on nola.com.
Sunday: Paul and I went to a pre Mania press conference and then saw a great show that I'll never forget. Paul dropped me off at work, and I wrote a long review and beat the paper deadline. The next day's issue is the highest selling TP street in its brief history.
I even wrote the headline on the front page: Yes indeed!
Monday: Paul and I walked around downtown and couldn't find a single copy of the paper because it was sold out of every bin. I think the wrestling fans in town really liked it.
We went to Raw and that show was a blast, doing crazy wrestling chants with the hardcorest of fans from around the world. I caught a shirt from one of the grapplers.
Tuesday: I wrote a really long review of the week that was that had 30 takeaways from WrestleMania 30. I wrote most of it in a hospital waiting room.
Here's a list of stuff the WWE gave me: two tickets to Mania, two to hall of fame, two to Raw and four to fan fest; a hat, shirt, sweater and program; a signed memento from Bryan and HHH where I can place my ticket and frame it; and a championship belt.
That sucker runs for $450 on the company's store website. The belt came with a nice note from the WWE PR team about my complete coverage being first class.
I really miss WrestleMania week during which I found time to stop in at the casino a time or three.
And by the way, I'm the champion! I keep saying that and pointing at the belt.
Nicole: Yeah? The champion of what?
Me: Uh, wrestling writing.
1. Now for the sad part.
There's no easy way to say this. My mother is dying of cancer.
She had breast cancer, and surgery was performed March 31 -- the Monday before WrestleMania -- to remove the tumor.
Unfortunately, the doc had some dour news after. The stage one he thought it was turned out to be worse. During surgery, he sensed it had spread.
Some tests two weeks later confirmed the spread into multiple areas. That news came May 1. There's not much to be done.
Another doc gave her less than a year.
Throughout March, I took her to seven doctor appointments, which made for some long days with my wrestling writing and regular 40-hour-a-week job.
My spirits are high, and it took a lot to write this much about it. I don't much feel like discussing it any more. Instead, here are my favorite curses from the cancer process.
On the doctor inserting a needle into her breast: "Stick this motherfucker in your fucking penis and see how you feel."
On the side effects of a recommended pill from early in the process: "Gonna give me fucking uterus cancer."
On all the other stuff that crept up with surgery and the like: "God's really shitting on me huh?"
On the pain in her arm from the doc cutting out her nerves: "Worse burn I've had in my whole fucking life. Probably worse than burning yourself."
And finally: "There's probably a cure for all this bullshit. Nobody wants to use it."
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