After I told her that I didn't want to do anything for my birthday, Kelly planned a surprise party for my 30th birthday. Bless her heart.
Unfortunately, I found out about it. Nevertheless, we had reservations at Crazy Johnnies for Wednesday night. I, of course, was late as if it was still a surprise.
Tina said: "You're gonna be late to your own fucking funeral. Whatever that means."
The restaurant announced it was going to close soon the day Kelly made the reservation. Not exactly off to a good start. As we were walking up to the joint, Tina said: "This place is going to be a fucking mad house."
And it was. But Kelly got there at 5:15 to protect our reservation. So no problem, right? Wrong. Twenty minutes after we ordered, we were told they were out of filet. Ugh, that's what I ordered. So we left.
The best part of the night ended up being the cake.
Kelly got it from Rouses. I told her I wanted it from McKenzie's even though I meant Haydel's. So that obviously threw her off because there is no Mckenzie's on Jefferson Highway. Oops.
So to recap, Kelly organized a surprise party (it was my fault it got ruined), got to the restaurant an hour early to set up, went through hoops to get an awesome cake (dobash), got a bunch of balloons, and my 30th birthday party ended up at Twin Peaks, where there was a 45-minute wait.
But we did get this gem: a menu item called the Average Joes.
An appetizer with of three brats. Like they knew Joe was coming.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is getting a new mouthpiece soon. "It's about time. I've been dealing with this motherfucker for five years."
As you may know, mom doesn't like police officers. Enjoy: "They get that fucking badge and think that gives them the fucking right to do anything. Fucking hate cops. When I was 20, a cop followed me for like 10 miles. I pulled into a police station. You know cops stop girls by themselves and fucking rape them? It's in the fucking paper all the time. Like 3 o'clock in the fucking morning."
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