As I was on bended knee Sunday morning near the front door looking up at the love of my life, the whole world stopped.
I had just shocked Nicole by proposing first thing in the morning. And I knew I would be shocking her. But I didn't expect the silence.
After what seemed like an eternity of her staring at the paper and looking down at me, she finally spoke. But it wasn't the word I was anticipating.
"Did you do this?"
Did I do this? You mean make a fake front newspaper page with the headline "Nicole, will you marry me?" across the top? Of course, I did. Who do you think did it? Cyrano de Bergerac?
But it was all she could muster in her state of shock. So I continued to stare up at her waiting for a real answer.
It was as if she had forgotten to agree to the marriage. Or thought she already had.
Another eternity passed before I prompted her for a response.
"Yes."
A week of anxiety and anticipation was over. I let out a big sigh and kissed my bride to be.
Even though I knew she would say yes, I had constructed quite the blueprint and I couldn't wait for her to see it.
The plan
Nicole had said she didn't want anyone to see the proposal. So it had to be private.
My options:
-- Play a card game with her and deal the cards. Write "will you marry me" on the cards dealt to her. Probably on the four queens.
-- Order a pizza. Pick it up. Before I come back in, put the opened ring box in the middle like that old ladder Pizza Hut used to use. Have her open the box.
I decided on option 3. Make a replica front page of the Picayune.
I made it with the help of one of our finest designers who agreed to dedicate some free time to the project.
The paper's biggest day is Sunday, and Nicole had picked out a ban May 6 and said it was on sale until that Saturday the 9th.
We had been to a few places before that and had talked about getting engaged, the future and the such for several months.
So I decided then that I would propose the next Sunday, the 17th. I also decided I would put the fake paper in a bag with the real paper and leave it on her lawn.
The execution
The designer, David Jack, and I went to work Monday the 11th. I sent him 12 pictures Nicole and I have taken over the past year. He turned them into a giant heart on the page right under the big headline.
Inside the heart I composed a 12-line aabb love poem that will just melt your heart. Take notes, Shakespeare.
To the side of that, I wrote a short story about the process I went through to make the page happen. I quoted sources saying we were about to get engaged, you know like they do in the real paper.
At the bottom, I wrote a 500-word summary of our relationship history, covering our not-so-storybook romance.
Above the name of the paper, we put a picture of crawfish and a headline that said "newly engaged couple celebrates with crawfish boil."
For weeks before I decided to propose, we had organized a small boil with some close friends. Fuck, I said to myself, let's make it an impromptu engagement party.
The rest of the week
After the paper was done Monday, I had six days to wait to give it to her. I was busy the rest of the week, but the nerves still were gnawing at me the whole time.
Actually the paper wasn't done quite yet. Every day, I reread the page and changed like five things. There's like five drafts.
On May 7th, I went to buy the band Nicole had picked out and got that and the diamond. Boom!
Between the 7th and 17th Nicole and I had countless discussions about possibly getting a ring soon. I had to choose my words carefully to not give anything away.
On Tuesday the 12th, I picked up the ring, paid for it and stashed it at my mom's house. On Wednesday, I got a haircut for the occasion. On Thursday, I went to her parents house to ask for her hand.
They were very happy and her dad got choked-up. "Glad to have you in the family." Awwww.
The last few days took forever. Time ticked sooooooo slowly.
After work Saturday, I waited for the paper to print and grabbed one right off the presses. I swung by mom's house and scooped up the ring. I left my paper and the real one on Nicole's doorstep.
The proposal
I slept at Nicole's on Saturday night, a ball of nerves. She made me worry a little more as she ran through a list of everything we had to do in the morning to get ready for the crawfish boil.
Ha, I thought. She has no idea. Also I knew she would wake up early, and we would be engaged before I knew it.
We awoke around 8 a.m. Sunday morning. As she was getting ready to get out the bed, she listed the first few things she was about to do to prepare for the party. I knew I had to get her mind off of that and to the front door.
"Oh, shit."
"What?"
"I think I messed up a headline in my section."
"Nobody else checks that shit?"
"No. Just me. And I had the delivery guy throw a paper here so I could check. I'm worried. Can you look for me? I can't stand to see it if it's wrong."
"Ok, I'll go check."
When she left the room, I snatched the ring from my hiding place and followed her to the front door. She picked up the bag and questioned why the paper looked different. I said just open it.
As she flipped the paper around and finally started to realize that it was going down for real, I popped open the box and got to one knee.
Next week I'll write about the aftermath and the boil. And some other stuff.
Here's the newly engaged couple.
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