ONE CHIP PER QUARTER. AS ALWAYS.

DAT'S SUPER

I'm off tonight for the Super Bowl. This is very exciting. I have watched the past 10 Super Bowls from the third floor of my office building. The closest I've come to watching in a different location is that I was at several different desks in those 10 years. 

How long has it been since I watched the Super Bowl not at work?

-- The last time I didn't watch the Super Bowl at work, I was a teenager. I went my whole 20s watching it at work.

-- The last time there was no Katrina, Twitter or even the idea of Breaking Bad. 

-- I saw the nip slip, the helmet catch, the tippy-toe catch, the Saints victory and the power outage all while working. 

-- The last time a cornerback was MVP. Since then, seven QBs and three WRs. Could Sherman return it to a CB?

-- The last time the Bucs won the Super Bowl. I don't think they have won a playoff game since. 

-- The last time I went to some party with Joe. And I'm doing that tonight. Some things don't change. 

I have a Super Bowl pool at work. Closest score with the right team wins. We had 20 people put up a dollar. I did this same pool at that party in 2003. 

My pick is Denver 20, Seattle 10. It's Peyton's year. Plain and simple. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom has been watching the Oscar nominated movies. On Captain Phillips: "I ain't getting on no boat without a fucking gun." On Wolf of Wall Street. "I used to take those pills. I'd take half of one. They fucked you up." On an Oscar snub: "I'm fucking pissed August wasn't nominated. It was so good."

Mom had an accurate assessment of the weather earlier this week. "It was so fucking cold."

Mom needs a new phone. You goes to Wal-Mart. "Guy didn't have a fucking clue. He couldn't answer any questions. So I said sarcastically thank you. He says you're welcome." Me: Maybe he understood your sarcasm and was fucking with you back. Mom: "No. He didn't have a fucking clue."

I tell mom that I need to book a hotel room. She says what for. I say the bachelor party. "Oh. I don't know what the fuck y'all doing."

Mom couldn't believe the situation in Atlanta with Winter Storm Leon. "Kids had to stay in fucking school. People were stranded and shit. People left their car on the road. Said the police ain't coming fuck it. It was a fucking mess."