AND BREESUS WAVED.

I got a call from my new Hornets ticket rep inviting me "and my shareholders" to have lunch at the Saints facility. I'd hardly call Joe, Paul and Bob "shareholders," but what the hell, they came along.

My worse case scenario for this thing: muffulettas as the only food option and a hardcore sales pitch to keep my tickets for next year by Kevin (I think that's his name). My best case scenario: Multiple food options to choose from, a relaxed environment where we all shoot the shit and talk about the bright future of the ballclub.

What I got was a little of the best case and then some. The conversation was an hour and a half of sports, ranging from Hornets, college football, college hoops, NFL, the Saints, etc. The lunch was in the Saints facility cafeteria with all kind of food options. I had the hamburger, and it was damn good.

Oh, and in the middle of lunch, Drew Brees casually strolled in for a bite.
Me (instinctively): Dreeewwww!
Drew (waving): Hey.

We didn't bother him thereafter, though Paul took multiple photos of him eating chicken and texting.

(He sent me the picture, but this goddamn thing wouldn't upload it. Ugh.)

After lunch, we were left to wonder if we should have invited Drew over to the table. I could have wished him a happy belated birthday or asked him why he didn't see the LB on the second pick-six against the 49ers.

But then Bob uttered something that made me fall on the floor of the facility's memorabilia room (though really it's more of an ode to Benson).
Bob (to me): You should have brought your football.

Well shit. But how I was supposed to know that Drew would sit at the table next to me for my lunch with my Hornets ticket rep. Damn it all. I guess that ball will never get signed. At least I have it, right?

I wonder what Drew would have said if I had asked for him to hold on while I run home real quick and get the football. I swear, Drew, I'll be back in 20 minutes. Could have worked.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is intrigued by the latest court trial. "This girl Jody. She killed her boyfriend. And then went and fucking had dinner with his friend. They found a camera, and it has these photos of her dragging his body around. Skinny little bitch, too.

Mom's foot was acting up. "I did something to my fucking foot. It's getting better, but ... I don't know what the fuck is going on with that."

I forget what she was referring to in this one. "I went to get the fucking mail, and the shit was all over the lawn again."

Mom tells me she's about to come over. "I bet you didn't put all your shit away."

Mom was, as usual, displeased with Wal-Mart. "Fucking Wal-Mart didn't have eight things I use."

Mom can't believe the details poured over in TV comments on the Internets. "People come up with so much shit. They look at every fucking little fucking detail."

Lastly, my mom is looking for a job. So if you know of an opening, holla.

CHEATING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Rachel and I went to the Hornets-Rockets game last Wednesday. She spent most of the game, and understandably so, reading the text messages of the guy in front of us.

He went back and forth texting WIFE and BANK TELLER. Yes, he put the mistress in his phone as bank teller. He texted things like, "My wife don't know I'm at the game'' and "It's, OK. We can do it in the car." (He was a rather large man.)

I just imagine this poor wife looking at her account online, seeing something amiss and then grabbing the nearest phone, which happens to be his, to call the bank. She clicks on bank teller and the other line answers: "What's up, baby?"

A FANTASTIC FOUR OF RANDOM THOUGHTS

-- I briefly forgot which one is the gas and which one is the brake the other night. Luckily, I was the only one on the road when I hit the "break" at the red light.

-- My neighbor has left his hose on twice in December. I walked outside to my car to see the right side of my lawn flooded and a water path down my driveway to the street. I turned the hose off both times for the neighbor. Should I have left a nasty note? I don't know. I don't know if my first words to my neighbor (yes, I've lived there for more than a year) should be: Uh, can you turn your hose off after you use it?

-- Today, I did maybe the worst thing I've ever done. Actually, too ashamed to write it down. Just awful. If you're reading this person I offended, I am so sorry. It was an accident but still unforgivable. Feel free to hate me. Or just hit me in the face. Burn something I own. ...

-- Fringe goes off the air tonight (though I'm not watching it until Sunday). It comes in as my ninth favorite drama. I will miss it. Especially you, Walter. After all, he named his cow Gene.