PLEASE NO ANY OUTSIDE DRINKS ALLOWED TO BRING INSIDE THE RESTAURANT

That's the sign that is taped on the entrance door at my favorite Chinese restaurant, Oriental Triangle on Jefferson Highway. That's some bad English. I hope my Chinese isn't that bad.

But I've read that sign so many times shaking my head on the way in that it's actually starting to make sense to me. I'm also starting to say "no any" instead of just no.

I feel like I should tell the manager something. He's a friendly guy. But then again, it adds to the ambiance of the place. Or maybe I should just scratch out the "Please," "any" and the "to bring." Then add a period at the end, followed by "Thanks." 

I also wonder how many other people notice this language atrocity. 

NECKLACE CHANGE

For those of you interested, I've just changed my necklace. I used to have a sterling silver necklace with a soccer ball hanging on the end. I've switched to a regular silver necklace with a double-sided emblem hanging off. On one side, there is a soccer field, a scoreboard, a soccer ball and a cleat in the process of kicking set soccer ball. The other side has an image of St. Christopher kneeling with an angel over his shoulder. It says: "St. Christopher" on one half and "Protect Me" on the other.

AND WE'RE ON THE AIR

I went to WWE Raw last night with my buddy Paul. It was our seventh live event since January 2007. That's a lot. But it was the first time in 790 episodes of Raw that it has been in the Big Easy. Bout friggin' time I say.

We sat two seats away from the railing to the left of the entrance ramp. The little kids and their mothers sitting around us kept discussing if they were on TV every time a wrestler walked by. Especially after the match when the good guy would shake hands. No, you idiots. You weren't on TV. The show is on commercial. They're not wasting air time to show your kid touching the wrestlers every time. Don't know if I made it on TV, but I probably looked like a fool if I did.

Kiss cam is always entertaining at wrestling events. They do the traditional (is that really a sporting-event tradition, now?) thing but then show two girls or two guys to see what happens. Well, last night, they showed two girls (no kiss), then three sets of two guys (including two workers). One time, a dude kissed his buddy on the cheek. How sweet.

Also, I think I touched John Cena's fingertip when he passed by at the end of the show. I couldn't get my hand all the way out because the kiddies were in the way, but I think we grazed fingertips. Either that or the wind from his hand slapping the others nipped against my fingertip. But what the heck, I'll say we touched. Boy, that sounded girlie. 

After the show, Paul and I went to the Quarter just to see what was cracking. We didn't see any wrestlers. However, we did get several free passes to various strip clubs handed to us. One of them had an expiration date of 3/31/08. Thanks a lot, free-boobie pass-handout guy. And there must be a deaf convention in town because 50 percent of the peeps (and they were all in sizable groups) I saw on Bourbon were signing to each other.

THE DAILY TOP LIST 

This thing needs a catchy name. I've been thinking of ideas but nothing good yet. If you have one, let me know. Anywho, today's list is my top 5 rock songs since 2006. Also, I'm going to start counting backward to build up the drama. Giving No. 1 first takes out the fun.

5) 21st Century. Red Hot Chili Peppers. 

4) Troublemaker. Weezer.

3) It's the Only One You've Got. 3 Doors Down.

2) The Pretender. Foo Fighters.

1) Hum Hallelujah. Fall Out Boy.

 

THE GENE POOL MAKES IT TO PRIMETIME TV

Apparently, world has gotten out about the blog. Must be all good news because the blog got a shout out on CBS, America's most watched network. The reference came when my mom and I were watching Sunday's Million Dollar Password this morning. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the game, it was an old game show. The Odd Couple did an episode on it, and in 1997, that episode was voted the No. 5 TV episode of all-time. Here's how it works. One contestant is given five clues. He has 30 seconds to get his partner to say the words. Just like Taboo. Except there's no buzz words. And you can only say one word at a time. For instance if the clue is Christmas, one would say presents. If the contestant can't get the clue, his partner then gives another clue. It's a lot of fun.

So, the clue was denim. Person says jeans. The other person misunderstands and says pool. To me, one person said gene's, the other person said pool. 

He must be addicted to this site.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY CAR

My Jetta made one year today. Let's go through the stats. 

-- Three drivers (two accused of stealing it).

-- Two oil changes (one successful).

-- Five washes (two by Volkswagen).

-- Action: One girl.

-- Gas the first time I filled up: 2.59; the most recent time: 3.99.

-- Miles: 7,100

-- Damage: a dent from a baseball; a staple in the back passenger tire

-- Cop instances: One. For starting the car through the intersection before the light turned.

POKER NIGHT

Went down to Harrah's last night. Forget about the big event in the city. Sure, there were traffic problems, but I eventually got to the parking lot. Damn, the area was hopping.

Was playing limit poker with 100 dollars. At about the three-hour mark, I'm running out of chips. Some of it bad luck. A lot of it my fault. I have five dollars left. I go all in before the flop with K-J. I win. Ten minutes later, I'm down to five bucks again. I go all in without looking. Person who wins the side pot shows two pair. I figure I'm out of there. I turn over the cards (still haven't looked), and I have a higher two pair. One hour later, I'm fifty-six bucks up and leave. Five dollars left to up 56. That's impressive. I left like I stole something.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top five most physical painful experiences I've had.

1) Broken tibula. April 2000. Broke it right where it meets the ankle. Couldn't run until October. Could still feel pain in May. And the cast itched like a bitch.

2) Kidney stone. March 2007. Woke up with it. Felt like I was going to die. Went from three cokes a day to one. And hardly any water to about 80 ounces a day.

3) That's private. Literally. July 2005.

4) Black and blue arm. Summer 1992. I was hit in the left arm with a baseball. Two and a half weeks later, there was still a black-and-blue circle on my arm. Then, I was hit in that spot again. By a 10-year-old throwing 70 mph. 

5) Once again. That's private. December 2001.

TURKEYS AND FOREHAND WINNERS

I've never really been crazy about video games. I have played Tecmo Super Bowl a lot. I've made it a mission to beat several games. Let's see. Duck Tales. Killer Instinct. Mega Man 2, 3 and 4. 24: the Game. But since I was 10, I've never planned a night of video-game playing. I've never suggested hey, let's play video games. I bought a Playstation 2 but have mainly used it for DVDs. I own a Nintendo (that still works) and a Sega Genesis (which doesn't work.)
So, why did I find myself Sunday bowling, swinging a bat and winning an epic game of tennis?
That's because my mom bought a Wii. Yup, that's right. And not for me. For herself. Which begs the question: Is she the first mom to buy a gaming system for herself and not for her son? There can't be too many more. The thought of her showing me how to conquer a Wii sport is slightly disturbing.
The main question is what possessed her to want a Wii. I'm not sure exactly. But somehow I have a feeling Oprah is involved. I wonder if she had a show about how great the Wii is and then my mom thought hey, I should get one. More and more, I'm getting the feeling that Oprah is going to be the leader of the next massed suicide.
But hey, my mom is excited about the purchase. It will be fun exercise. Keeps her active. The biggest benefit for me? With the reward zone points that will get, I'll have a five-dollar coupon in no time.
Though I am predicting she gets bored with it by the end of the month and brings it back. Unless she gets really into the characters you can create in the Wii world or whatever it's called. If her character comes out looking a lot like her when Paul makes it, she's going to flip out and fall in love with the damn thing. I'll keep you posted.
My mom worked mostly on her bowling game Sunday. So far, her high score is 148. I'm thinking of having Family Bowling Night.
Planning to play a video game? I don't even know myself anymore.

MY WEEKLY CUBS THOUGHTS
Instead of blabbering about the Cubs all the time, I'm just going to give weekly thoughts on Sundays. Until October that is. Ok, I have ten thoughts here, but I can't promise to hit that number every week.

- Big Z looked great Friday against the Cardinals. Focused. Intense. Had good movement. Definitely a positive sign because he is the one to carry us deep into the postseason.
- I'm fascinated with the reaction of other announcers to the way Dempster shakes his glove before pitching. One thought it was a great idea for timing. Another seemed so shocked that a pitcher was doing such a thing that Dempster might as well have been wearing a dress on the mound.
- Soto, Ramirez, Lee and Soriano are all tied with 15 homers. That's balance. Of course, Soriano has missed a lot of time. I'll predict he finishes with the most on the team.
- Winning 2 of 3 from St. Louis is huge. But with Sabathia in the fold, I say the Brewers are now the favorites. That's a scary team. We can take them though.
- Marmol is a key storyline. I think they need that dominant, scary reliever. And he was that for a while. If he can't get it together, that's a major hole on the team.
- I figured Wood was due for a blown save. I just wish it wasn't against the Cardinals.
- Wednesday's win was great. Dempster was good. The Giants kept coming back. But we still won it.
- The Cubs are 11-12 without Soriano. So yes he's vital. Hey, I like the guy. Swings at bad pitches? Sure. Shaky defense? Yah. But he throws out runners (deletes runs for them) and hits homers (adds runs for us).
- MVP of the week: DeRosa. Grand slam on Monday. And he just kept going.
- I predicted 93 wins at the beginning of the season. I'll still take that, but this team should be at 97-99.

MY DAILY TOP LIST
It's time to get a little personal with today's list. Let's make it girl related. The top five things girls have said to me.

1) When are you going to stop teasing me and fuck me already? --- December 2007.
2) No. I don't think so. --- September 2004. After I said: I have feelings for you. Do you have them for me?
3) My dad was killed in an airplane by terrorists. He sent a friend to be my guardian angel. And he sits on my bed sometimes at night and watches me sleep. He'll follow you around too and protect you. --- February 2002.
4) You better call me right away. Don't keep me waiting. --- July 2001. In an e-mail. Trust me. I called right away.
5) You're so dreamy, Gene. --- Fall 2004.

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, VIDEO CASSETTE RECORDER?

I grew up using a VCR. I remember my uncle showing me how to use two VCRs to take a rented movie and make a copy of it. Heck, I still have a VCR in my room that I use several times a week.
Yah, the DVR has taken over the world. Most people can't remember how they ever lived without the damn thing. People feel like they can watch more TV now because it is so easy to record.
I agree. I do. The DVR is far superior to the VCR.
But in my limited experience with the DVR, I have found several advantages for the ancient VCR.

1) A VCR records on a tape. You can bring the tape to somebody else's house to show them it. A DVR can't do that. Your friend would have to record the show himself. Or come to your house. Tape trading used to be huge.

2) My digital cable went out the other day. My mom was recording. When the cable turned back on, she rushed to re-record the Bold & the Beautiful. Whew. She didn't miss anything. But if we weren't home, she would have been really pissed. And apparently, a VCR will turn back on and keep recording. According to her, anyway. I'm not sure how that works.

3) If I tape something for say four hours but only want to keep the beginning, I can just tape over the rest with a VCR. On a DVR, I have to keep the whole thing or delete the whole thing. I know a DVR has more memory but if you try to keep a lot, eventually you have to delete stuff. Or buy a separate DVD recorder and make DVDs. With a VCR, you just fill up one tape and go to the next.

4) It is easier to watch live TV and something recorded at the same time on a VCR. Say I miss the first five innings of a Cubs game. I set the VCR to record and when I get home, I watch the game live. But in between live pitches, I watch the part I missed. Watch a live pitch. Hit play on the remote. Watch a couple of taped pitches. Hit stop. Bam, right back to live action. You can do this fairly quickly. On a DVR, there is a little bit longer process. Watch live. Click DVR list. Select the game from the list. Watch taped game. Pause it. Type in station to go back to live. Not as easy, and I'll miss pitches. Same goes if I'm trying to watched a taped sitcom and a live game.

5) (Updated Jan. 22, 2009.) You can't start recording something on the DVR in the middle of the showing. You can start recording earlier and extend the time. But you can't have a game start recording an hour into it, unless you are sitting right there. With a VCR, however, you can start taping at any time you damn well please.

If I think of more, I'll update them right here. Or you can send me other ideas. Or tell me how I'm an idiot about any of these reasons. Or figure out how to make the DVR better. My mom said: "For the money you pay for the motherfucker, it ought to be fucking incredible."

IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY

This is an oft used expression that I hate. You're talking to someone and they say, "Boy, I’ve had a long day." Oh, really? How long was it? About 24 hours? Because that’s how long days usually last. I understand that the person has probably had a hard day. It might have been stressful. They could even be exhausted from the problems that they had to face. But I seriously doubt that it was a long day. I like to respond with: "Well, that sucks. I hope tomorrow is back to 24 hours for you." or "Really, what did you do with the extra time you had?"

DAILY TOP LIST
My top 10 favorite wrestlers of all-time. Nicknames, finishing moves and signature catchphrases in parentheses.

1) Bret Hart (The Excellence of Execution. Sharpshooter. I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be).
2) The Rock (The People's Champion. Rock Bottom. If you smell what the Rock is cooking?)
3) Kurt Angle (The Olympic Hero. Ankle Lock. It's true. It's true.)
4) Randy Savage (The Macho Man. Flying elbow from top rope. Oooo yeah. Dig it.)
5) Diamond Dallas Page (DDP. The Diamond Cutter. Bang!)
6) Randy Orton (The Legend Killer. RKO. You're now living in the Age of Orton.)
7) Hulk Hogan (The Hulkster. Running leg drop. Watcha gonna do when the 24 inch pythons run wild on you?)
8) Sting (The Man Called Sting. Scorpion Death Lock. It's showtime folks.)
9) Chris Jericho (Y2J. Walls of Jericho. You will never E-VVVVVER be the same. Again (in Canadian accent).
10) John Cena (The Doctor of Thuganomics. The F-U. You can't see me.)

'TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY'

That's how Bill Pullman's president character ended his emotional speech before the final battle in the Will Smith blockbuster Independence Day. Besides being my third favorite Smith film, ID is a story of survival and killing aliens. But more than that. It's a tear-jerker. Powerful moments abound. Heck, I cried four seperate times when I watched it today.
Is it a little corny to watch ID on the Fourth of July? Sure it is. But that doesn't stop me. You see, I first did it in 2002 when I had nothing to do during the day. I thought, hey, let's make this a tradition.
So I've done it every year since. Except one. Know which one that is?
Yup, 2005. And we all know what happened in late August that year. Therefore, I've made a solemn pledge to the city of New Orleans to watch ID every 4th of July for the rest of my life.

FREE FIREWORKS

I took part in another ID tradition last night by going to the Zephyr Field fireworks display after work. The game went into extra innings, and I headed that way in hopes I could make it there before the show started.
I made it in time to see the end of the game and the fireworks display along with the 11,000 bozos who paid to be there. Yah, show up in the 11th inning and you don't pay to park or enter.
When I got there, there were about a hundred people leaving. I was walking in.
When the fireworks were winding down, I bolted and beat the traffic. Not a bad way to spend zero bucks.

SPEAKING OF AMERICA

Remember after 9/11 when everyone put American flags on their cars?
I don't recall the last time i saw an American flag on someone's car. What happen to our patriotism? Did we stop being Americans?
And was their a specified day when everyone decided let's take off these flags, it's been long enough. Or is it that we just want to pretend that 9/11 never happened. I say bring back the flags.

OIL CHANGE FOLLOW-UP

Just to let you know, I checked my car when I woke up this morning to see if the fine folks at Volkswagen had cleaned up the mess. Our customer-saving service rep Brook had promised my mom they would clean up the mess of oil they made.
But they didn't. The leaking oil from the first oil change was still on my car. And it still dripped a little more last night in the driveway. So I got under there myself and cleand their mess. Agghhhhh.

IF YOU'RE TIED AT 59 HOT DOGS

I didn't watch the Nathan's hot dog eating contest today. Would'nt have even I thought about it.
But I absolutely love the term for their playoff. Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi were tied at 59 hot dogs after ten minutes. Then, they went to overtime. And Chestnut ate five hot dogs faster than Kobayashi did to win it.
It wasn't called overtime, though. It was called a dog-off. I think that should be the new name for anything that decides a winner after a tie. Both players answer a trivia question at the same time and you and your friends can't decide who answered first. Have a dog-off. Close play at first, and the ump is confused. Have a dog-off.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My five favorite movies to quote.

1) My Cousin Vinny (1992. I almost know every line)
2) A League of Their Own (1992. Most of the time, not the well-known lines)
3) Anchorman (2004. And to think I hated it when I first saw it)
4) Office Space (1999. Next time you watch it, notice how Smykowski backs out the driveway)
5) Home Alone (1990. Must have seen it 20 times when I was young)

APES AND OIL CHANGES

I decided to go for a timeline diary of my trip to get my oil changed Thursday. Here's the entertainment that ensued.

8:01 a.m.: I walk into Walker Volkswagen on Vets for my scheduled 8 o'clock appointment, which was supposed to be the first appointment according to the lady on the phone. There were four people already waiting in the lobby.

8:51 a.m.: I was hoping to be out of there in an hour and a half. So, at the fifty-minute mark, I walked out toward the service area to see if my car was being worked on. It was. It was lifted on the rack and the hood was popped.

8:58 a.m.: A new lady joins our waiting party. She had a baby boy with her. She makes a call to her husband. The baby, we'll call him Bradley, decides he wants the phone. So he goes for it. Momma pulls away. Three seconds later, he grabs it again. At this point, I'm cheering for Bradley to grab and throw it on the ground. Not out of spite. Just wanted some excitement.

9:27 a.m.: This is the point where I became annoyed with the TV showing MSNBC, which decided to tell me the same news headlines over and over and over and over again. I feel like I must share with you the top stories. Rush Limbaugh to get $400 million. (Good God). Gas prices average 4.10 a gallon. There's a tropical storm, an uncle killer with a sex ring, wildfires, travel will be down this weekend and Christie Brinkley is testifying in her ugly divorce. Her husband apparently ran up a bill on internet porn. Hello? You're married to a supermodel. What a moron. Besides, doesn't he know he can get that stuff for free? Gee wiz.

Also, A-Rod is being linked to Madonna while his soon-to-be ex-wife was seen with Lenny Kravitz somewhere in Europe. Kravitz denied the report. He also said in his interview for his new album in February that he hadn't had sex in three years. Yah, Ok.

9:46 a.m.: The service guy comes over to tell me that the process is almost done and they're just checking my tire that's slowly losing air. By the way, dude's name is Brook. So the Lopez twin isn't alone.

9:51 a.m.: Brook informs me I need a new tire. I got a staple in the side of it, and it's not fixable. I say go ahead and fix it now. He also tells me his best tech worked on the car and that he checked everything. This will be important later.

10:16 a.m.: I take another walk outside. Car was in the same spot as before.

10:27 a.m.: Another mother sits down. She's waiting on her son's car. A creepy employee in a suit comes over to pour himself some coffee. I notice him check out the mother. Gives her the once over. He pours his coffee
standing behind her and ogles some more. Then he makes some snarky comment about a commercial to get a laugh. It didn't land. She didn't even notice him. He waited a few seconds still giggling. Then tucked tail.

10:46 a.m.: Another trip to check on the car. Still in the same place. Only now it was missing a tire. Of course, there's noboby around it putting it on or anything. Oh, boy.

11:11 a.m.: Brook gives a hearfelt, emotional speech to a customer bitching about service. Here's the gist. He was screwed over by Volkswagen, then came to work there to change things around one customer at a time, so that no one would have to go through what he went through ever again. Oh my. Isn't that a reason why people become lawyers and politicians? To change things.

11:16 a.m.: Another trip. No change. Bored out of my mind.

11:39 a.m. My car is brought out to the front. I pay the 220 bucks for the new tire plus labor. Brook tells me that the car has also been washed. That makes five washes in its first year. Two by Volkswagen. Three by me.
So, I ask you: Who cares more about that car?

I drive home. End story. Wrong. It continues.

1:36 p.m.: My mom and I are going for lunch. She notices something dripping from my car. It's oil. All over the pavement. By the time I left home for work, the stain on the pavement was three feet wide. My mom is enraged. She's going crazy, folks.

1:38 p.m.: Mom calls Brook. Brook tells her that she needs to call a tow truck. She said: "Excuse me. I don't think so." You remember, Brook, right? Fixing the world one customer at a time. So the arrangement
becomes, they call a tow truck, fix the car and then drive it back to our house. I take my mom's car to work.

1:44 p.m.: Mom gets off the phone and exclaims. "I can do an oil change. A fucking ape can do a fucking oil change." There is now a puddle of oil on our pavement.

4:20 p.m.: I talk to a roadside assistance operator because their automated voice call told me the car should have been picked up now. But it wasn't. Lady tells me traffic caused the delay. Tow truck arrived shortly thereafter.

5:28 p.m.: Mom calls me at work to tell me she talked to the driver and he's on his way with the car. He apparently asked my mom how to get to our house from Williams, which is out of the way from Veterans. That wasn't a good sign. Bad sign No. 2 was when he asked what to do when he got to Jefferson Highway. Let's see. One way is the River Parishes, the other way is River Ridge, Harahan and the such.

6:31 p.m.: Mom calls to tell me we got the car back. Driver got lost. Mom tells me she left quite the voicemail on Brook's cell phone. Also, she called the driver and threatened to call the police accusing him of stealing the car.
Oh yah, the problem was the gasket. The top tech over there at Walker Volkswagen forget to put a gasket on to prevent things like oil leakage.

Let's assess the damage.
1) There are now 10.5 more miles on my car than there would have been. And four more miles because they went the wrong way.
2) My mom lost a lot of cell phone minutes. She pays by the minute.
3) My mom and I are really pissed.
4) They didn't do any sort of I'm sorry gesture. Like fill up my gas tank. Or knock a 100 dollars off the tire cost. Or give me a free Volkswagen poster.
5) That makes three people who have driven my car. And the other two were both accused of stealing it. I won't even let my mom drive it.

So my 8 a.m. oil change appointment finished at 6:30 p.m. That's service.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
Today's list is my favorite Cubs of all-time. I feel like Cubs' thoughts should be a feature of the gene pool every few days or so.

1) Sammy Sosa (He was very very good to me in the late 90s)
2) Carlos Zambrano (I wear a Big Z jersey shirt when he pitches)
3) Mark Grace (I use his number for internet passwords)
4) Kerry Wood (Could have been No. 1 if no injuries)
5) Ryne Sandberg (though Aramis is creeping up)

'WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COMPANY TONIGHT?'

My friend Paul is a nice guy. The kind of guy who might say

bless you to a sneezing armed robber. Which is why I wasn't

completely surprised by what happened to him the other day.

You see, he picked up a hooker. Well, he gave her a ride.

No, not like that, you sick freaks. In his car. He was driving

home down Veterans and saw a woman walking in the parking

lot of Zuppardo's by herself. So, what does the genius do? He

pulls up to her and asks if everything is alright. Alright? She's

by herself at 2:30 a.m. in an empty parking lot. No, Paul, she's

living the life. But that's just Paul. Always trying to help.

She tells him that she's had a rough day. So he offers a ride.

She gets in. They start driving. He asked where she would like 

to go. She says the Walgreens on Airline. Hint No. 1: Destination

was Airline. But Paul says OK. No problem.

On the drive:

Lady Zuppardo: "So, what do you do?"

Knight in a Nissan Versa: "I work at the Palace on Clearview. 

What do you do?"

LZ: "I'm an escort."

Silence. Mouth open. Crickets chirping. Tires screeching in the distance.

LZ: "So, would you like some company tonight?"

Of course, Paul would never do such a thing. So he politely declines.

Tells her he appreciates the offer and that she's very attractive (which

he says he meant - LZ was in her 30s, he says) but he just couldn't.

LZ: "You know, I'm beautiful on the outside and on the inside."

This really put the story over the top for me. What a great line. 

Rest easy, people. The ladies of the night on Airline have some

self-respect. Who knew? Unless that was a sex joke. Hmmmm.

Here's where Paul let me down. How do you accidentally pick up

a hooker, drive her to a destination five minutes away, have some

conversation with her and NOT ask HOW MUCH? Dammit.

I feel like I have to know these things. That would be like passing

Tom Brady on the street and not coughing out: 18 AND 1. You just

can't let opportunities like these pass you by. He blew it.

Now, I know. Once she responds with the figure, you then have to

say: No, I can't afford that. But then she might go lower. And that 

could create an awkward situation. But hey, it was already awkward.

And now we don't know the going rate on Airline. Is it 150? 300? 500?

But hey, my mom just read that story and said: "It's like 20 bucks for a

blow job." So, at least we know that.

SPEAKING OF MY MOM

She was none to happy with me this morning. Apparently, on my way 

out to dinner last night, I left in (as she said) "such a fucking hurry, you

couldn't close my goddamn door."

That's right, friends. I left the door wide open for a solid two hours.

And crazy enough, not one person accepted the open invitation. 

Well, that we know of.

I HAVE AN OFFICIAL TOP 10 FOR WILL SMITH

I saw Hancock today, and I was hoping it would be good enough 

to make my Will Smith top 10. And it was. Came in at No. 10.

But it's a solid No. 10. Brought the laughs. Brought the fun.

I didn't think it was going anywhere, but it turned out to be an

entertaining hour and thirty. Had some good lines. Will put in a solid

performance. Action scenes left something to be desired, though. 

TIME FOR THE DAILY TOP LIST 

Two for today, since I didn't post yesterday. I know. You're excited.

GENE'S TOP FIVE NON-MAIN TV CHARACTERS

I tried to pick characters that make an impression but are

rarely the focus of an episode.

1) Creed. The Office.

With his ability to remember names and overwhelming sensitivity, 

the quality control man in Scranton always brings the funny.

2) The Janitor. Scrubs.

Ah, where would this show be without Jan Itor? He hates scooter pie.

3) Eric Matthews. Boy Meets World.

My all-time favorite TV dimwit. FEEEEEENEEEYYYYY!

4) Jim Ignatowski. Taxi.

The future Doc Brown would never slow down at a yellow light.

5) Clifford Clavin. Cheers.

The oft-picked on, oft-overlooked mailman. Always ready to drop the

knowledge on a group that could care less. Any of this sound familiar?

MY TOP 10 HARRISON FORD MOVIES

For the only other actor I can go 10 deep for

1) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Same old Indy. Much more quotable lines than Raiders.

2) Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Yes, this is the best movie of the trilogy (I don't count the 4th one).

3) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

The most comedic of the three. And dare I say, most fun to watch.

4) The Fugitive.

I find most people really like this one. But it doesn't seem to get any

respect on lists or pop culture stuff. Maybe I'm missing something.

5) Presumed Innocent. 

Who knew he could do non-action?

6) Patriot Games

7) Air Force One

8) Witness

9) Clear & Present Danger

10) Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back